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#416021 - 11/12/12 07:21 AM An apology
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1148
Loc: SE USA
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_________________________
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mev_FBj0Fyk

Will

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#416061 - 11/12/12 06:20 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3968
Loc: settling in the USA again
Will - i sure get what you are saying here:

*** The experience of simultaneous fear, loathing, anger, and pleasure sent me into a period of confusion that took a couple of years to detangle.***

i would LOVE to hear more of that part of your story - if you are OK with sharing it - if not publicly, then by PM. that is where i am right now - the confusion part.

lee
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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#416120 - 11/13/12 11:59 AM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1148
Loc: SE USA
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_________________________
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mev_FBj0Fyk

Will

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#416184 - 11/13/12 09:00 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Hey Will

Thanks for sharing. Rather than just lurking around this post I thought I should say that I'm here too (confused). I see myself as straight with SSA .... most of the time. Thanks for asking the question Lee.

I feel a bit sad that I still haven't worked this out and I'm nearly 36. I guess I didn't get all those positive experiences in my teens.

Will - do you still feel a hint of confusion or is it dead and buried?
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#416190 - 11/13/12 09:34 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1148
Loc: SE USA
.
_________________________
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mev_FBj0Fyk

Will

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#416196 - 11/13/12 10:18 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 325
HUGS

It sure does make sense

Thank you for sharing your story.
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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#416308 - 11/15/12 07:22 AM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1148
Loc: SE USA
.
_________________________
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mev_FBj0Fyk

Will

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#416374 - 11/15/12 07:58 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
cosmos Offline


Registered: 11/12/12
Posts: 191
Loc: Puget Sound
Suwanee, Ansley Park, wow in the early 80s I used to live on the other side of the park on Greenwood Ave in Virginia Highlands; small world; but it was a very different time. I have always struggled mightily with this issue, even had a real boyfriend; your opening statement is so true If anything, male CSA demonstrates that sexuality is much more complicated than that. Im still not resolved about this, I walk down the street and have really never ogled the guys or the girls specifically; just anyone that attracted me, which in an average day might mean no one. But if I see that spark or twinkle even if just for a second from someone I find appealing its a real turn-on. So for me right now I look at it like I could love anyone as long as it was reciprocated without regard to sex, and Im fine with that right now and think I always have been.
_________________________
"it has never yet been discovered how to make man unknow his knowledge, or unthink his thoughts"

T. Paine

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#416382 - 11/15/12 09:02 PM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1148
Loc: SE USA
.
_________________________
I've got this life
And the will to show
I will always be
Better than before
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mev_FBj0Fyk

Will

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#416476 - 11/17/12 02:58 AM Re: An apology [Re: Suwanee]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3968
Loc: settling in the USA again
Thanks, Will!

that was far more than i expected or hoped for.
i appreciate you taking the time and effort to respond with such depth and candor.
it was really helpful.
i'm still processing...

Lee
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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