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#415321 - 11/05/12 12:30 AM SSA or Homosexual attraction
oktobe_me Offline

Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 7
Today i was at church and during prayer time,(praying about being attracted to a marriedfriend who is in no way interested in me other than friendship). As much as I try-which to be honest-isn't very hard- I can't stop desiring to be sexually envolved with this amazing friend. He is open and accepting of my sexuality as being gay but he is not aware of how much I desire to be with him. I have been in theraphy about this and to no end I continue to spend way too much time wishfully thinkng one day we will be together. I try every approach possible to maintain the boundries of our friendship and not push him away. I wonder if what I am feeling is SSA related to SA? I feel the only way to be close to him and to show him how much I care about him is to provide sexual favors for him. Past freindships similar to this have always been with the same out come...I like you, we are freinds, I have SSA. This SSA outcome is often instantanious.Which is why I can't help but wonder about SSA as opposed to Homosexual attraction. during my prayer time I clearly heard "crossed wiring" in relation to why I can't stop loving this beautifully comitted husband and father who has no investment in me other than close friendship.The crossed wiring is perverted love from the years of abuse...don't tell me you care/love me-show me...sickos.
Thanks for listening and I hope there's some helpful insight to follow. Still...oktobe_me

Edited by oktobe_me (11/05/12 01:52 AM)
”Go confidently in the directions of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." H.D. Thoreau

#415355 - 11/05/12 06:04 AM Re: SSA or Homosexual attraction [Re: oktobe_me]
1lifenow Offline

Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 437
Loc: west coast
One of my best friends is a united church minister which is ironic cuz i am an antitheist,lol. He came out to his congregation last week. I thought that was incredibly brave. He was not an abuse victim, but he talked about that issue. Boundaries. Like you said, maintaining the friendship trumps the attraction.

It doesnt matter weather why you are attracted but you just are. Its not unusual, str8 people are attracted to friends just the same, its just human. So you just have to keep in mind that he is not available and therefore off limits. The attraction however will continue, its ok. But as for SSA vs homosexual attraction, my understanding is sexual dysphoria is only diagnosed for men who are by orientation heterosexual where there is imprinting from the abuse but they dont have desire to have anything other than a penis fixation. Homosexual orientation is buy definitation SSA but wanting more, intimacy, bonding connection.

You are lucky to have such a great accepting friend. All my married friends love to go to house parties and watch one of the wives dance cuz she is really hot. They all nod and smile knowingly, and i am sure would love to do her in a second. Dude ur just being a dude.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama

WoR Barrie 2011

#422967 - 01/23/13 12:12 AM . [Re: oktobe_me]
johnb11 Offline

Registered: 01/15/13
Posts: 12
Loc: Europe

Edited by johnb11 (11/07/13 01:38 PM)


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