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#415255 - 11/04/12 01:55 AM Nope.
Magellan Offline

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1575
Loc: California
I haven't got a fucking clue. I'm just a stupid little retarded duck that can't hear and can't see bumping retardedly into others with the daffy duck voice "Pardon me. Excuse me".

No connections to anyone, no ability to connect, and no clue as to what I'm doing wrong.

Fooled too many times to count. My heart is black.

I'm ready to die. God please take me.

#415262 - 11/04/12 02:18 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
peroperic2009 Offline


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3791
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey D,
you were more than successful ion connecting to many of us here, please take that into account.
Yes, it is terrible difficult sometimes to overcome our obstacles and negative self image... Sometimes all look just too negative frown
I'm sorry man. When I'm caught in similar whirlpool it hurts me to know that it is not that I'm doing anything wrong bur rather it looks like everything is just happening by itself. Hopefully many times other people are not at all aware of my negative thoughts, those are moments when I've been awaken and trying to move from my "head".
What makes you to move from it, can you think?
Walking in nature is doing wonders for me...

My story

#415264 - 11/04/12 02:27 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Lancer Offline

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
D -- You're connected to ME. PM me if u wanna talk about what's going on.

#415267 - 11/04/12 03:43 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3965
Loc: settling in the USA again
D - you are certainly not describing the man i know.

you are much better than you think.

i wish you could value yourself as we esteem, respect and love you.

"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#415268 - 11/04/12 06:13 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Aptrick Offline

Registered: 06/26/02
Posts: 77
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
I am nobody, I am nothing, but i know that you are constantly helping others with kind and helpful wisdom. I read the posts on the discussion board almost daily and you are posting in most of them. I am sorry for whatever has happened but please believe that THIS MOMENT WILL PASS. Your heart can not be dark; it couldn't hurt so deeply if it was. From those of us who still sit in the shadows, I promise you do connect and you do know what you are doing/ saying. The fault is on their side, do them the courtesy of letting them keep it.
Pain makes you Beautiful -the Judybats, 1993

#415271 - 11/04/12 06:28 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Aptrick]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Aptrick
...please believe that THIS MOMENT WILL PASS. Your heart can not be dark; it couldn't hurt so deeply if it was.

Amen to that man. Please don't leave us.
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#415279 - 11/04/12 08:18 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Casmir213 Offline

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 851
Loc: Northeast, USA

I'm sorry you are in such pain. You have people here who care about you. Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. I hope that you can come out on the other side of this terrible pain with renewed strength and hope. You are worth the effort. Please believe that.

I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

#415280 - 11/04/12 08:25 AM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Suwanee Offline

Chat Moderator

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1145

Edited by Suwanee (02/19/16 10:55 AM)
"His voice rose under the black smoke before the burning wreckage of the island; and infected by that emotion, the other little boys began to shake and sob too. And in the middle of them....Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart…”. -----William Golding

#415322 - 11/04/12 08:11 PM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Magellan Offline

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1575
Loc: California
Sorry folks. I had a major PTSD episode when I wrote this. I appreciate the kind replies and support.

Trigger: Not hearing from someone I care about for a couple days. This has been a life long issue, and I don't know how to resolve it.

Thank you for the kind words and affirmative replies. I do appreciate them.


#415416 - 11/05/12 06:09 PM Re: Nope. [Re: Magellan]
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 304
Loc: Canada

I have felt like that very recently. I developed strong feelings for someone last fall and when things fell through I was devastated. In hindsight, my feelings were toxic and I could not for the life of me let go of this constant need to hear from her. I felt so insecure when I didn't. My self image was in the dumps. I am still reflecting on the whole thing and trying to sort it out.

Not hearing from her triggers me, and hearing her trigger me as well. I am just afraid of my feelings ending up all over the place. Heal well bro.

I am the warrior.

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