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#413898 - 10/22/12 05:37 AM Re: I'm having a selfish moment [Re: RunningOnEmpty]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa

I got through my CSA issues with AA and, no problem there, the important p[art of it is that the survivor has a honest desire to get well and is totally Honest about his past.

What I cant figure is why the partners dont see the need to get help, I am not saying that there is something wrong with you, but I know how much I abused my wife. The lack of intimacy made her feel ugly, and If I did not have an excuse as to why I didn't want sex I would resort to insults, your fat, you don't turn me on, then there are the times when I was drunk and would say things like you money grabbing bitch and I don't love you I just tolerate you and on and on and on.
Now if you believe that you were not affected by that sort of behavior, well then you are wrong.

Please leave him to his healing, and you focus on yours. It is very important that you heal and are well when he is.

Heal Well
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#413920 - 10/22/12 11:41 AM Re: I'm having a selfish moment [Re: RunningOnEmpty]
sandiego2325 Offline

Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 9
hello running in empty, you are a very courageous woman you H is lucky to have you. victims of male childhood sexual abuse need to connect more with their peers than anything else; your H will probably be able to open up to you much more now that he ever has before but it's easy to see why you would feel betrayed but It think it's intentional. In the meantime, maybe you can seek out networks and support groups for family and freinds of abuse surviviors,

hopes this helps.

#414107 - 10/24/12 03:00 AM Re: I'm having a selfish moment [Re: RunningOnEmpty]
RachelMac Offline

Registered: 08/26/12
Posts: 58
My husband would say the same thing to me when I told him I'm hurting. He'd say, "Go through what I went through, and then tell me you are hurting!" I came on here to vent and was given good advice. Pain is relative to your experience and you are allowed to feel it.

I am happy your H is improving. Try and focus on your own healing because maybe by healing separately, at some point down the road you guys will both be able to support each other again.

All the Best,

#414362 - 10/26/12 03:25 PM Re: I'm having a selfish moment [Re: RunningOnEmpty]
Mel78 Offline

Registered: 10/26/12
Posts: 16
Loc: North Carolina
Ahhh the Trump Card! When everything in our lives is secondary to the horrific betrayals from sick people who go on without a scratch. Somewhere it feels like they win, the perpetrators, they not only were allowed to do what they did but the fallout keeps dominating lives.

I can relate to how you're feeling, you are not alone...
Everything rides on hope now, everything rides on faith some how, when the world has broken me down YOUR love sets me free....
-Addison Road

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