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#413695 - 10/19/12 10:28 PM changes in behavior
HD001 Offline

Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 276
Loc: us
So my H and I. Have been in therapy for a little over a month. He still has not disclosed details of his csa but it talking about how hurt he feels inside and that he feels like a failure. The last couple weeks he has quit going to the gym as often and has a hard time eating or focusing in school. He also has no interest in sex this is strange because a month ago he was asking me for more sex. I keep asking him what's going on but he just keeps saying that he is tired. Some days he seems relaxed and happy and others he is angry and withdrawn. Is this normal for someone who just started to leak out some emotion after years of shoving it down? Is it normal for an H in recovery to suddenly not want to have sex?
Everything comes from within

#413697 - 10/19/12 11:09 PM Re: changes in behavior [Re: HD001]
RunningOnEmpty Offline

Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 91
Loc: georgia

Edited by RunningOnEmpty (01/02/13 12:33 AM)

#413701 - 10/20/12 01:19 AM Re: changes in behavior [Re: HD001]
Blue1966 Offline

Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
It can be very scary, just the stress of facing and dealing with issues, sometimes more memories surfacing as you progress through therapy, all of it hard on us, and on our secondaries.

Hang in there, just be there for him, it will get better, you both just have to be patient and work through the mess a bit at a time.

#413702 - 10/20/12 01:24 AM Re: changes in behavior [Re: HD001]
karin4him Offline

Registered: 03/18/12
Posts: 23
Loc: Illinois
This is to be expected at this point in his healing. Although everyone is different, everyone seems to go through various stages. Going through therapy can bring out a lot of things that have been buried and with that a lot of emotions. Unfortunately there is no exact timetable but lots of love, patience and understanding should see you through.

#413729 - 10/20/12 08:37 AM Re: changes in behavior [Re: HD001]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Absolutely. I see it all the time, you scratch the surface and suddenly the mind starts to leak information out, a bit at a time, and this can be a very hard time for the victim.

Please now is the time to encourage him to come clean on the csa, especially with the therapist.

Watch that he doesn't resort to his default behaviors such as drink, porn and sex.

This can be a good or bad step, either it is time to let all out, or at out and deny.

Be patient and encourage.

Heal well
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