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#413319 - 10/16/12 06:45 PM .
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

#413323 - 10/16/12 07:01 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
Blue1966 Offline

Registered: 10/08/12
Posts: 83
Loc: USA
I hate to say it but, it is possible. The outwardly best parent in the world can be an abuser.

As for if it was your father, I don't know. I would however bring this up with a therapist. The fact that he triggers you as you describe is enough to make him suspect in my mind.

#413326 - 10/16/12 07:30 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
Country Offline

Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 654
Loc: Alabama
Dang L.A.D. I am sorry you go they this. I wish u the best and hope you can figure it out.
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

#413333 - 10/16/12 07:49 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4002
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio

good for you for expressing yourself so coherently.

as i see it - there are 2 possibilities - either he is a perp.
or - he is triggering memories of another perp - because of similaries that trigger your repressed memories.

i sure know all the feellings you describe, though. the step-father triggered all of that in me for all my life from age 6 until he died when i was in my mid-30s. it was only in the past year that i knew why - not just CSA - but incest. i always knew about the verbal and physical abuse - but never really gave it that name until i had moved out of the house and was free of his physical presence and control. the emotional, mental, spiritual and psychological influence, oppression and conditioning continues to this day - though it is diminishing.

how could he be so nice, giving, etc?
denial, splitting, whatever - it is possible.
i am sure my mom's 2nd husband never admitted to himself what he did to me.

take care of yourself, man!
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

#413335 - 10/16/12 07:54 PM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:33 PM)

#413343 - 10/16/12 08:15 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
GT13568 Offline

Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 184
Loc: California, 93451
I'd say your dad used you. Whether he sexually abused you? It seems possible. The man used you in a game to deceive your mother. Knowing you are an alcoholic, he encouraged you to drink. He " allowed you too much freedom." All these things indicate a pattern. Good fathers don't "freak out" or manipulate by threatening suicide. Good fathers set standards for their own behavior and teach those behaviors to kids.

Back to the question of sexual abuse: "Being nice" could be a kind of grooming, do you think? Life is but a dream, it sounds like your body is telling you something. You're not sure what. You should listen. Are you working with a therapist? It has really helped me to do so.

Good luck.
I won the moment he hurt me, because he poisoned his soul, and I did not poison mine. I did not hurt anyone. He did. He was the perp. He tried to make me into a victim, but I became a survivor. Yes.

#413373 - 10/17/12 03:01 AM . [Re: Life's A Dream]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 09:32 PM)

#413376 - 10/17/12 03:44 AM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
peroperic2009 Offline


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3813
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey LAD,
please be careful with your father, I'm not sure whether he abused you or not but I can tell that he is not supportive at all like father should be and rather use you for his interests frown
Please try to share as little as possible with him about your issues. He already is crossing the line by making triggering jokes with you and using things that you've told him, that is terrible wrong frown
You have to make some distance and to protect yourself, please follow your feelings.
I have one question: is your dad very ill or something so you are so worrying for his health and do such things for him?
Hang on buddy!

My story

#413393 - 10/17/12 08:02 AM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
cant_remember Offline

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1070

As a left-hander, I also hate restaurant booths. Always banging my elbow against the wall.

Your uncle who is in prison, is that your father's brother? And you are also suspicious of your grandfather? And your father has gambling problems and emotional problems and boundary issues in public?

It is *possible* that your grandfather started a chain of abuse that you have been swept up in.

PM me if you need to talk.

I'll be just fine and dandy
Lord, it's like a hard candy Christmas
I'm barely getting through tomorrow
But I won't let sorrow get me way down.

#413435 - 10/17/12 08:14 PM * [Re: Life's A Dream]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/29/13 12:36 PM)

#413558 - 10/18/12 07:13 PM Re: My dad triggers me [Re: Life's A Dream]
justplainme Offline

Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 472
Kick his ass if he ever comes near you again and call the police.

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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