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#413293 - 10/16/12 05:41 PM Not molested in the service, but......
Tinman Offline

Registered: 05/30/08
Posts: 359
Loc: Lake Forest, CA
I was never molested in the service, but I had two dynamics going against me: I was gay (WAY before don't ask, don't tell) and I trusted no one due to my abuse.

I look back at my service with a mixture of pride and sorrow. Sorrow because I couldn't be who I was and sorrow because of the lack of trust, which hampered my advancement.

Even today, after the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, I cannot come out to my psychiatrist. The VA is supposed to support the new policy, but the constant and unending abuse I hear toward us makes me feel less than again. A very familiar feeling.
"I finally have my heart!"

To the perps: Don't worry about me coming after you. But you damn well better watch out for God! "Vengeance is mine", saith the Lord

#413377 - 10/17/12 08:41 AM Re: Not molested in the service, but...... [Re: Tinman]
Mart Offline

Registered: 10/17/12
Posts: 3
be strong man

#414430 - 10/27/12 06:35 AM Re: Not molested in the service, but...... [Re: Tinman]
jggab Offline

Registered: 07/29/08
Posts: 53
Loc: California
Tinman, I know trust is a huge issue with survivors. I can only encourage you to do what you feel is right for you. If you don't feel safe about coming out to your psychiatrist, then you should ask yourself if this psychiatrist is the right one for you. Having worked in Navy medicine for the past two decades, I can say that the vast majority of providers really don't care whether a patient is straight or gay. What they care about is that they are providing quality care for the patient. Being gay is a significant part of a persons life. If you can't discuss this part of your life with your therapist, then I would recommend requesting a new therapist. At the repeal of DADT, civilians seemed to think there would be this dramatic change. But the reality is. . . .most service members either already knew their fellow service members were gay or didn't care one way or the other. Be proud of who you are. . . .come out when you are ready. . . . but your discussions with your therapists are protected by law (with exception of certain crimes and SI). Good luck and I wish you the best!


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