Hi, my fraternal brother, Mark,
Interesting read indeed.
As we move along in our recovery and we reach a certain place where we have dealt with a certain issue, for me one is(hating & fearing)all females since childhood. OK, in therapy I was challenged about my emotions on that. The question posed to me was Pete, weren't there any females in your youth that had had shown you any love & care? Think about it. I did & there were 8 females that I fondly remember (now), that indeed love & care for me. So, how can you still have that emotion & feelings about hating all females, when you had experienced love & care from a few? Pete, you really deep down hated & feared one female & that was your "mom." She taught you how to hate & fear all females.
So, from that one issue I have tried to change my emotional & mental feelings about that, in these past few months. Thought I was finished with that issue. Until I had an emotional experience with my best friends dying wife. It's posted in survivors of female abuse.
So, here I now am, at 73 years of age having experienced having an emotional feelings for females. A very few females.
The confusing part for me is, yes I do have emotions for my friends wife & another friends female partner. But I still do not have any kind of an emotional & mental connection for the female who has given me almost (40) years of her life, plus two fine sons. There has never been an emotional, mental in mind, body & soul bonding with her.
Yep, as we deal with an issue and think we have successfully dealt with it, bam, then comes the shreadout part of it.
It's taken it's toll on me emotionally, mentally & physically in these past few weeks as I had an anxiety attack in trying to come to terms with it.
Real great read. Things in it are sure to become a big part of our healing progress. Will this ever end? And this is only one of the many issues that we have to try & come to terms with.
Another useful read to help us on our journey.
Thanks, my brother, Mark for posting this.
Wishing you well in healing, Mark,along with our other brothers here.
"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.