Yes it's true 45 years behind me today and 35 years living with myself and the effects of the trauma I lived through.

Other then the vissions I've related with and help me to get by, I'm thankful for you guys out there who have had an understanding of me.

I've just caught a cold and do you know because my body felt achy all over, all my muscles ach, oh how much I hurt all over,
I remember the pain from being punished for telling about being sexually used.

Once I had been hit by a car from behind while I was walking home on the sidewalk, from 5th grade school, two weeks before school would be off for the summer.

Once my pearents having their problems and talk of divorice broke my heart. My mother choose the bottle over me and my Dad would have given up by shooting us both with the shotgun.

Once I got away from a man, two house from me, tried to take me with him, in a car running in his garage, after he past out from carbon dioxide.

Once being used by the swimming pool manger and he was getting worse by starting to use a knife up me, treating to open me up.

Once my Dads co-work, ex-friend because I told his wife that he and I have sex, because he made me bleed from uncontrolably sodomizing me, so
she left him and he punished me,
by sodomizing me again, voilently, at my home in my garage.

And the many other times, to many, under the influnce of something, that happened.

Through all my times of pain I prayed.
Thanks be to God.
But with feelings, It reminds me of when.
And this manchild,
hears the words, fear not,
God is a loving, God.

fmighell Anc Ak

:)thanks for understanding! \:\)