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#411748 - 09/29/12 12:37 PM Hello
WVguy Offline

Registered: 09/23/12
Posts: 18
Loc: Upstate New York
I just wanted to say Hi and thank you all for a place that has helped me a LOT just in the week since I found it. I have so many conflicting thoughts and emotions about the things that happened to me that it is overwhelming at times. After carrying my secret for 27 years I have finally in the last week come out about the abuse to my mother, my ex-wife (she deserved to know), amd put my story on here. I spent the better part of the first three days crying almost non-stop. And it's taken the absolute total upheaval of my home life to make me realize that yes I do in fact need help and it's not my secret to bear till the day I die. One of the biggest steps I believe I have taken was that after almost three decades of carrying all this guilt, shame, anger, hatred, and sadness is that I finally wrote it all out and sent it to my abuser and told them I am tired of carrying it around and it was now hers to deal with. Things are still hard at home because of issues that have arisen with my gf due to my ways of acting out. But it's nice to finally be able to talk aboug what I think and feel and know that I have a place where I'll not be judged on what happened to me.

#411750 - 09/29/12 01:13 PM Re: Hello [Re: WVguy]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3856
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi WV guy and welcome to Male survivor smile!
You were very brave to tell your story after so many years, that must be terrible difficult, it is no wonder that you felt overwhelmed! Hang on brother.
Be aware that you are not alone.
Share with us further!

My story

#411754 - 09/29/12 03:19 PM Re: Hello [Re: WVguy]

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3786
WV guy

Welcome--it is so hard but you have taken a courageous step to face the past. It is so difficult--I too wanted to take the secret to my grave but it was not meant to be. I too had it hard at home and it triggered the memories--the pain, hurt, guilt and shame--and set me off into a world unknown to me--lost time. I have made strides and I found my anger and rage have subsided--I just want peace in my life--to love and be loved unconditionally. I do not want the past to control me as it has--each day it gets better and I know you will begin to feel real joy in your life--I can tell you when I started to feel joy and love and loss of anger and rage I said this is how most people must feel. Good luck, welcome and heal well.

Edited by KMCINVA (09/29/12 03:49 PM)

#412053 - 10/03/12 05:50 AM Re: Hello [Re: WVguy]
Country Offline

Registered: 02/29/12
Posts: 654
Loc: Alabama
Welcome and I wish you the best in healing. These guys and tools here are helpful.
Ephesians 6:13

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

#412147 - 10/04/12 11:40 AM Re: Hello [Re: WVguy]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2615
Loc: Central PA
Sounds like you are already taking great strides toward healing.

Keep up the good work, but don't rush too quick. Healing takes time.

I Didn't fail to notice you saying you sent what you wrote to your abuser and now it's "hers" to deal with.

I too was abused by an female. She was my sister's older friend. She would have been around 13 or 14 when I was 8 or so and she abused me.

There's quite a few here who were abused by females. It's far more common than people want to admit.

Take it one day at a time.


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