Third session with new therapist. Doing great so far but today we are going into deep water . Specifics of what my cousin did to me and the monster he helped create. I'm eager to get it out in the open but hearing myself say what I was a part of has me scared shitless. Anxious and feel major dissociation coming on. The troops are not happy. But then neither am I so what the fuck. Fighting the urge to hurt myself.