I think D. summed it up well, not long after we met,barely friends at that point, we were discussing relationships and he said "It never feels quite right when you can't give all of yourself."
So true and, so hard for us (yes I too am a survivor) to do. We know too well how others react, we expect it and, we don't want it. Pity, telling us to just get over it, we're crazy, it wasn't that bad, didn't happen, etc...
Even when we do find someone we are semi okay with, it takes a lot to build the trust and the attachment (which by the way is never quite "normal" for us. Even if we manage that, knowing there are times when we need to take and cannot give in a relationship is hard.
We want to give, always but, sometimes that's just not possible. Then we get this internal guilt trip going on, start accepting things in the relationship that we shouldn't (infidelity, little white lies, etc...)Then said relationship goes to hades, and it's our fault because we couldn't give when we should have.
Yes we know logically that isn't the case, but it sure doesn't change how we feel. Let that happen a couple of times and we are running for the hills long before there is any chance of a serious relationship. So, you manage to get us to hold still for a bit, and we fall in love with you, well I think you see the obstacles in out heads that make it really hard for us to ride out the storms and think we are doing okay by you.