I just noticed that last month, August, was the twelfth year since I first came to this website. I have changed a lot, the world has changed a lot. I admit I don't come here often and post even less. My past is long behind me. I went into therapy about 1999 and worked for a couple years to get through things. You know, a lot of tears were shed and a lot of truth came out. It's like I turned myself inside-out on a weekly basis for two years! Most important is: I rescued the boy that was me. When no one else seemed to care and even G-d wouldn't come to his rescue to answer his pleas, I finally did. I carried him in my arms and comforted him then I put him back in my heart where he would be safe and no one could get to him but through me.
Twelve years. Curiously the birthday immediately following the rape and that I didn't celebrate. I didn't feel like it. I was but a shell. I barely left my bedroom except to go to school. I was not happy and sure as hell didn't feel like a celebration. But now I can. It's the twelfth year after I decided I would take back control of my life. I'm twelve again but knowing what I know now. LOL
A life worth living.