I don't think there are hard and fast rules about memories and medication. Meds allowed me to be a bit more calm so I could process memories. You and I may be a little more alike than I first thought. If you're remembering things and then pushing them away, they're not truly gone. It's like you're ignoring them willfully, and you've been doing it for so long that you can't easily stop. Plus, the traumas may be so severe and scary that you can hardly stand to allow them to come back, especially all at once. That can be super overwhelming. That's why I started taking meds. I would just get so caught up in the pain of the past that I wouldn't really be able to function. Plus, frankly, I was a little afraid that I would kill myself in a particularly dark moment. I wasn't suicidal so much as in incredible pain. The meds really helped. They don't replace therapy. They help you be more productive in therapy. You know, none of this works unless you're willing to be straight-up honest with your therapist and yourself, and you have to do the things that your therapist says.... For instance, if you're supposed to take notes, or have a conversation with your parents... or whatever... do it.
You'll see improvement. It'll be tough, but I promise that it gets better. You'll start to heal. It'll be amazing. And keep coming here. I've found important support here. In fact, I'm doing a LOT better in the last six months or so, and I credit this site with a lot of my improvement.