Hi, my fraternal brothers.
Well, jay75, it sure is normal to be scared to death & have anxiety about it.
I debated with myself while waiting in the clinic waiting room.
I had never talked to a human being face to face about my SECRETS.
Just on the computer, faceless. But my two buddies know what I look like & they listened to me.
Was I going to get cold feet & run away when he came out to get me?
If I do go with him to his office, will I go in the door or turn & run?
Will I freeze up & not be able to speak about it?
Well, at the age of 69 1/2 years old, I was tired of running and it was decision time.
He comes out & greets me, I just get past his office door & my mouth just starts going a mile a minute, just rambling on. He didn't interrupt me, he just sat down & LISTENED. I don't even remember if it was in any sort of order or not.
He put me at ease, he will try & help me as best as he can. He was a military doctor and was more attuned to combat PTSD than with a old guy whom was abused 50+ years earlier. We ended up with weekly T sessions. I ended up bringing my wife along to two of them. However I was going to be leaving Germany & returning to the USA. So we had about 25 T sessions before I left, he was a good help for me.
I came back to the USA & already had been accepted by a female, CSA only T. I brought some of the reports from him to give to her. However I had to start all over again with her.
Then once again, with the VA mental health clinic. A few one on ones, then into a 12 week PTSD Therapy mixed group male & female sexual abuse patients.
I was scared to death with all of them. I'm confidant that you will do just fine. Just be yourself in the beginning, let it out as best as you can.
My fraternal brother, jay75, I wish you well on your first T session. And all the others to follow.
Be kind & gentle on yourself. Believe in yourself, my fraternal brother,jay75.
"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity."
As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.