My partner and I have been together 13 years. My repressed CSA memories started surfacing in year 12. I can only tell you about my experience involving my partner. He has been through hell with this but is still here by my side. We are very open about communicating and we are now able to go to therapy for both of us. It is very hard on a spouse or partner to see what we go through and what happened to us. Education and communicating was/and still is critical for us. You mentioned she is reading books about CSA and I think that is a huge step.
I am a firm believer in wanting "me" to get better. From day one I have been determined to survive this and become a better person. I also believe we have to reassure our spouses and do our part of the healing process. Remember you just rocked her world too.
My number one is me, my number two is us.
The minute I quit trying to improve me is the minute it is over for both of us and I don't see that happening.
I guess what I'm saying is they have no need to stay with someone that is not trying to get better and it goes the other way too. There is no need in us staying in a toxic relationship.
I hope this helps. I know it may be different situations but this is what is working for us.