Wow... definitely a lot of wisdom in these replies! Thanks so much! A lot to take it, but I didn't want to leave the contributions unrecognized. It's quite helpful.
Obi - Thanks a bunch. I'm not sure I expect my fish to climb a treat any more than he would expect his house cat to do long division.
Esposa - I think you're on to something for me. I've said and seen around here about living on scraps. I've been all too happy to do it. No victim this round, honestly, just myself being honest with myself. I stayed.
Traveler - I'm jealous. You seem to have a relationship that incorporates a great deal of respect and mutual-adoration, especially through the tougher moments. Communication is key, but I often find myself on the losing end of choosing to talk or listen. It's not there for me. I hope to find someone who wants it one day, though.
Country - Not rambling at all. If it is, I'm quite fluent come to find out! Always an interesting hypothetical. If he had cancer, I would expect him to take responsibility for his own situation to the extent possible. I'm not sure if I've made it clear here, but my guy is not seeking treatment for CSA (or anything within the past couple of months!), so it would be like saying "Oh, I have cancer.I don't really care to deal with that. Who wants to go to the gay bar?" Your comment is VERY helpful in my own realization that I can't be more involved than he is. If he's not interested in taking care of himself, I'm going to die doing it for both of us. (Yes, a LOT of people have said that to us supporters on here, but it's just starting to sink in a wee bit only just now.)
Cdn - I love the shining the light on one another idea. Very powerful.
Lancer - Very good point. If I look back, I gave up a lot of my idealistic thinking months ago to a good extent. I really do just want progress for him and for our relationship. I'm wondering if that expectation might still be a bit too high for where he's at in his recovery right now.
I guess I'm sitting back giving this a lot of careful though. It's over according to our last encounter. Finally. I have met SO many awesome people on here from both sides of the survivor/supporter front and heard so many survivors share so personally, that I might be romanticizing my P's own work and willingness to travel down that road. I really DON'T want this to end... I don't want it to be a reflection against those who are surviving and thriving. I really wanted this one to work out and to take the reins like I've seen so many here do. Oye...he's such a wonderful guy deep down, but the symptoms are too much today. 8 hours sleep, though... We shall see.
AND... I'd still love to hear other ideas and thoughts on this. I think this is something that will help me personally regardless of who I'm dating at the time!!