I was in that same boat bro. It was the worst mistake of my life. The damage I caused I my wife was way too much. There was no physical attraction or emotional attraction what so ever. Just a spur of the moment thing. I have realized thru therapy that this was probably a conquering trait that some male survivors have. Thank God my wife took me back and has helped me in my recovery and this has made my marriage south stronger. I finally addressed my CSA and can open up to my wife. With God and her in my life I feel so strong and safe. I don't feel the need to rage about the smallest things. The group here at male survivor has helped alot. Reading other posts is amazingly helpful.
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her