Lee - i appreciated reading your story here. and - yeah - i prefer to post in forums where there is a response possible - so no harm done.
welcome to this community - lots of good guys here that help make the journey a bit easier - or more tolerable at least.
your experiences will help many, i am sure. hope you also find some affirmation and validation for yourself here, too!
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"