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#40534 - 07/19/02 08:23 PM dont know what to do
teacher Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/19/02
Posts: 1
Sorry to bother you, i just have a question and i am not comfortable about talking in person with someone. over the past few years i have been blackmaled into having sexual relations with ceratin family members. i have tried numerous ways to stop all of it but have failed or made the issue worse. a few years ago my aunt started blackmaling me into doin certain things with her or she would tell the family what she had found out. now that time has passed it would have been better for her to tell then to let this happen. after awhile we began doin more and more things. some how her daughter found out what we were doing and she also insisted that we do things or she would tell. a few months ago i finally convinced my cousin that we should stop. her and her mom got into an argument and she moved out. the daughter had been writing some of what we were doing in a journal. her dad found the journal when she moved out and read it. since the journal only states any action between me and the daughter my aunt is acting like nothing happened between us and is pressuring her daughter to go to the police. since i have no proof of me being blackmaled into everything i do not know what to do. if i go to the police first then i will get in trouble also, but i think that maybe if i go first i dont know. to make matters worse my aunt has told the whole family about me and her daughter to make me look bad. i am not sure if i should tell my family and the police what is really going on or just see what time brings. it has been a couple of months since anything has happened so i have no proof of anything except what i say and i really dont think anyone would believe me over them. i have some bad decisions in my life but i have made some really good ones too. i am going to graduate college in december and get my teaching degree and i do not awnt to lose everything i worked for for something i could not control. i have been affraid to go to the police because i was over 18 yrs of age when all this started. from what i can tell about my states law everyone involved in an incest act is punishable by prison and a felony charge. if you have any ideas i would greatly appreciate it. thank you for your time.
No Worries

#40535 - 07/20/02 12:39 AM Re: dont know what to do
jackjohn Offline

Registered: 06/17/02
Posts: 23
Loc: Fallston, MD
First I think you should talk to your therapist.
Also if you have the money see a lawyer for advice. I don't know about the laws in your area. My gut feeling is your aunt won't go to the police.
I really hope it works out for you. Let us know what happens.

Be good to yourself.


#40536 - 07/20/02 12:54 AM Re: dont know what to do
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I'm sure that good professionals, therapists and hopefully police and legal people can tell the difference between liars and those telling the truth, although abusers are notoriously devious. Their lives revolve around lies and deceipt.
It's a choice between a rock and a hard place, but the truth usually comes out in the end.
I don't envy your decision, but be strong.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#40537 - 07/20/02 05:25 AM Re: dont know what to do
Richard Gartner, PhD Offline
Past President

Registered: 09/20/00
Posts: 404
Loc: New York, NY, USA
It may well be that relations between first cousins, especially if both are over eighteen, are not legally considered incest in your state. Consult a lawyer. Then find a therapist if you don't have one yet. This is imperative. You have a lot to straighten out in your life.


#40538 - 07/20/02 06:31 AM Re: dont know what to do
Broken Offline

Registered: 03/25/01
Posts: 273
Loc: Huntingtun Beach, CA, US
Nobody here can tell you what to do for certain, but one way or another the truth makes itself felt. I am not sure what you did, but you cant carry it around with you your whole life and pretend like it never happened. Your aunt sounds like a very bad person, there is really no way to rationalize or justify this kind of behavior, it is just wrong. Whatever you do, dont live your life in shame.

#40539 - 07/20/02 01:29 PM Re: dont know what to do
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I sent you a private message Teacher, click on the words "my profile", I hope you are doing better.

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
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