Written on March 12, 2002

Another Day

By Ted (alone)

Today is just another day
In my life with work and with home
But another day has a dreadful way
Of continuing the consistent drone

Of thoughts that plague my mind again
Just like yesterday and the day before.
The ones that are solid and firmly ingrained
In that dark, windowless room with no door.

These thoughts are contained in such a way
As to taunt and tease me at their will.
Easing at rare times during the day
To permit good and happy thoughts to fill

That part of the mind that can bring joy
But they seem short lived and soon to die.
I want to retreat to that little innocent boy
Who lives deep inside and just cries.

He thinks of that time that changed his life forever.
Those cruel, selfish acts he has learned to abhor
Of someone he trusted would cause him never
To be the same little boy that he was before.

That little boyís thoughts have since become mine.
They are there, indelible, in the depths of my soul.
I am older and weary and much past my prime
With part of myself that will never be whole.

I wonder too, how many days Iíve been given
To live, to work, to think thoughts forced on me.
I believe in God* and I believe in His Heaven
This life's not all, this canít be all thatís to be.

There HAS to be more, there must be relief.
To think otherwise would be more than I could bare.
I was a victim of a childhood thief.
I need to have rest, and to have that rest is my prayer.

Little boy, little boy, youíre buried so deep.
The old man is tired and just wants to sleep.
Youíve cried for so long and you want rest too,
The next life will be both for me and for you.

*I have been taught to believe in God since I was very small along with the business of guardian angels. My finite mind still can't comprehend why "crap" happens. Is it because everyone has free will? So having that privilege comes with a cost. The fact that people can do bad things to others. So then what's with the guardian angel business? Where was mine when I was 12? Where was anybody's who is on this forum? What confuses me more is that I had a therapist that told me that all of this belief is just dogma. So what a person supposed to believe?

Edited by alone (07/27/12 05:29 PM)