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#404569 - 07/24/12 04:40 AM All the kings horses and all the kings men....
IBB Offline

Registered: 07/24/12
Posts: 12
don't give a shit. Plain and simple.

So sick of hearing all this Sandusky, Paterno, Penn State Shit.

Had a long text session with someone tonight who think that what the NCAA did was just horrible. That they should just prosecute the guilty and leave it at that. It took everything not to fuckin lose it.

The thing that really pisses me off is this guy knows about what happened to me. He's one person in this world I've trusted more than any other. Trusted enough to tell nearly everything too.

Yet to me he fuckin defends that bullshit.

If he really thinks he can convince me to change how I think and feel, then my being open was a waste of time to a magnitude that can not be measured.

Fuck humanity. You can never trust them to ever do the right thing and you especially can't trust anyone who tries to tell you they're some kinda moral paragon who wants to do things the right way. WTF ever.

#404581 - 07/24/12 11:20 AM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3848
Loc: South-East Europe
Welcome to Male survivor IBB!
As I've been living in Europe I'm not so much affected by talks/news about Sandusky and Penn State case.
But be aware that unfortunately there are even some survivors here who have same opinion like your friend regarding NCAA decision. I just can say that we all are very different and that doesn't mean that we can't live all together. You did great when you disclosed to your friend, obviously you have had huge trust in him, please stick with some positive aspects of your relationship (I'm sure there are plenty of them) even that means stopping discussion about this matter.
Please share with us your thoughts, questions, experience and knowledge as much as possible.
Be well!
My story

#404677 - 07/25/12 01:31 AM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
IBB Offline

Registered: 07/24/12
Posts: 12
Thoughts: Got lots of angry ones.
Questions: If I have em, I'll look it up.
Experience: I could post a resume but I doubt that's what your looking for.
Knowledge: I got lots of opinions, but keep item 1 up there in mind before asking too deep.

I know I'm an @sshole. I survived on my own, and sure every once in awhile I let someone get a glimpse of the crap inside, but that's rare.

Not sure why I signed up here. Just a place to vent I guess where I figured people might have some possible chance of having a clue.

As for my friend, we'll see. I'll probably wait and see if he contacts me again. If so, fine, we'll go on from there, if not, whatever.

#404678 - 07/25/12 01:35 AM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
scottyg Offline

Registered: 06/26/12
Posts: 288
Loc: Seattle
Welcome IBB. You hit the nail on the head. Most of the world has no idea about the pain you went through, no concept about what that pain is like to this vary day. We know. Everyone reading this will know the anguish in your voice as his own. It sucks you have to be here. But now that you are here you are free to rage and vent and also, most important, to heal. I know it's expensive but therapy is a good place to start. There are resources on the MaleSurvivor mainpage that you can use to locate mental health practitioners qualified to help you. Maybe you cannot trust the world outside yet, but will you try to trust us? Insert warm fuzzy.

#404768 - 07/25/12 06:27 PM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3848
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey IBB,
Juts vent out if that is what you need.
You deserve some nice words too and not just critics or hard stance. I'm absolutely sure that you are not an @sshole smile
Please keep sharing with us!
My story

#404774 - 07/25/12 07:35 PM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
Jim1104 Offline

Registered: 03/17/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Hey IBB. Maybe you are an Ahole, but I haven't seen it from what you posted yet. Vent away and share what's on your heart. You really are in a safe place.

I asked a friend about his opinion on all the Penn State stuff. I don't really care what the NCAA did, as long as they felt it appropriate, and the money goes to helping guys like us, not the NCAAs general fund.

I do feel sorry, perhaps, for any negative effects on the players who were totally innocent. The leaders of the athletic program and the university - throw the book at 'em.

What interested me was that the discussion deteriorated into a comment he said, "This may not be politically correct, but I (my friend) don't think that every kid who gets anally abused by an older kid or adult will necessarily be harmed." Yeah, I had to question that one and, as he talked, the case he remembered was nothing like what you probably endured and I did.

There was no secrecy in this case. It was fully vetted and the kid got the help he needed before it became an issue.

You, on the other hand...Well, those who haven't been where you are have no real right to argue with you.

Welcome my friend.

#404788 - 07/25/12 11:51 PM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
Disappointed Offline

Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 541
Loc: U.S.A.

Second what Jim1104 said: Haven't seen that you're an A### from what you've posted. Seem quite fine.

Sorry you have to be here. Vent some more!


#405350 - 07/31/12 04:28 AM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
IBB Offline

Registered: 07/24/12
Posts: 12
I feel like an @sshole because the only time I find any desire to talk to other people is when I'm angry. Otherwise I'd rather just be left the hell alone.

Frustrated on so many levels lately. Work my @ss off for nothing while people around me do nothing and have more while every time I turn around the government or someone else is taking more and more from me. Then there's the fact that other @ssholes took everything else of value before I was even old enough to know a damn thing.

Was just thinking to myself tonight if I have the damn button to blow it all straight to hell I'd push it. So sick of the damn world and everything in it. Everywhere I look it's one bastard taking advantage of someone else and not giving a damn, and I'm SO sick of all the damn political ads. There isn't a single candidate that really gives a shit, it's all about them and getting in or staying in office to keep the money rolling in for them while we're all strangled to hell.

So thanks for thinking that maybe I'm not an @ss, but realistically, no one here or anywhere else knows me and honestly that probably won't ever change.

#405367 - 07/31/12 07:40 AM Re: All the kings horses and all the kings men.... [Re: IBB]
Cpt1 Offline

Registered: 07/27/12
Posts: 1
Loc: Napoli, Italy
Well hi there,
This is rather strange for me to do, but I guess I have come to the right place.
To put it briefly I was sexually abused and molested for over eight years, from the time I was just under four untill twelve years of age by a loved and trusted "family" member, my uncle to be exact.
I am now twenty eight and I won't lie I am very angry!
The problem I face now is one that I fear many of us survivors face on a day to day basis, it is that of being rejected by people you once loved.
My family knows of what has occurred and well my immediate family is 100% behind me and any decision I make, it is the other side that concerns me slightly as they are currently trying everything in their power to protect the paedophile who committed the acts to not just myself but another sibling as well.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated.


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