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#40450 - 02/04/03 06:38 PM Last night
Kieran1 Offline

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 33
Loc: Canada
I told my wife about my abuse last night.For a moment she was like she was in shock,then grabbed me and held me as I blurted out everything to her. She didn't ask any questions and let me vent all that had happened that terrible summer so long ago.I have never cried and shook so much! I am so lucky to have a partner that is so non-judgemental.I talked for hours it seems,all the while she hugged me,telling me it was OK,keep talking,let it all out.When it felt I had no more tears left she gently told me how lucky she was to have me as a husband and that she will support me 100 percent,we will tackle this together. She even said she knew something had been bothering me for the last few weeks.She cried with me for a long time last night,neither of us got much sleep but now I am so relieved the abuse is now out in the open. In all my life this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do! You know,I felt like that little kid again for just a moment,telling someone that a man had abused me,as if I was telling my parents that terrible summer so long ago. I have to go now,but I will talk again in a few days.Thank-You from Kieran.

#40451 - 02/04/03 06:42 PM Re: Last night
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I can hardly type for crying...

that's wonderful news.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#40452 - 02/04/03 07:37 PM Re: Last night
paddyd Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/17/03
Posts: 1
Loc: yonkers
I am so happy for you. Like Lloydy, I am crying over your post. You are very lucky to have that support. Keep talking to her and remember to be there for her also. Not everyone can understand the stuff that we are going through.

Good Luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

#40453 - 02/04/03 08:23 PM Re: Last night
RJD Offline

Registered: 02/18/01
Posts: 326
Loc: jefferson City, Mo,usa
WOW!!! Thanks for touching a place so deep in my heart. Tears are puddling in my eyes too. I felt like I was right there with you and feeling my own pain along side of you. I also felt the joy you must have in your heart to have someone so special. You are a lucky man to have a wife that can be right there with you too. You have blessed yourself, your wife, and even our day here. What a gift you shared.

--be gentle with yourself

#40454 - 02/04/03 08:40 PM Re: Last night
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Like the rest I am crying tears of joy. We all told you that she saw something in you. You obviously new how to pick a partner. Remeber I said it would be like a boil bursting. It is still a big deal but just think YOU HAVE SOMEONE UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL TO HELP YOU DOWN THE ROAD. Give us updates to let us know about your progress. Keep posting with issues that we may be able to help you and that wonderful wife of yours.



#40455 - 02/04/03 09:39 PM Re: Last night
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN

What great joy this brings to my heart today 2/4/03.
In all my life this has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do! You know,I felt like that little kid again for just a moment,telling someone that a man had abused me,as if I was telling my parents that terrible summer so long ago.
Yes you where that little kid ,but now you are a survivor on the road to healing. That little kid will still be with you on your journel to help you alone the way. We all knew that your wife would be there for you, she loves you .
It is so great that we have this place to come and share. Thanks all for bringing JOY into my life today. Muldoon

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#40456 - 02/04/03 10:05 PM Re: Last night
MrEdd Offline

Registered: 01/24/03
Posts: 340
Loc: Texas
Sounds just like Kim and me Last week. I was so afraid she was going to leave me. I'm very happy for you. I hope you have as much support from her as I do from my wife. She wants to help so much but I'm afraid too much of this crap might crush her as she's had problems with depression for years.

Some Things are not problems to be solved, rather, they are facts which must be coped with over time.

#40457 - 02/04/03 10:44 PM Re: Last night
moo2 Offline

Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 82
Loc: pottsboro,texas
I am so very grateful that you told your wife about your abuse. There was always some type of sign that something is wrong. Now you can share anything that is bothering you with her. That in its self is a huge relief for both you and her. My hubby just told me on Thursday. I just felt so much empathy rushing through me. I just need to help him through this pain and our marrage will be stronger because of it. AND YOUR MARRAGE WILL BE MUCH STRONGER. \:\) :p


#40458 - 02/05/03 01:51 AM Re: Last night
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...

Tears of joy & relief for you, brother survivor. This was very much like the response of my wife when I told her about 18 months ago. She has continued to be very supportive, as I trust your wife will. You are blessed in this, and thanks for sharing the blessing.


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

#40459 - 02/06/03 06:58 PM Re: Last night
Kieran1 Offline

Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 33
Loc: Canada
Thanks everyone who have sent me all the messages of support,empathy and most importantly your genuine tears for me.To reveal all the abuse to my wife, and trying to find the words to describe it, has still been difficult for me.However,I know now how big a step this is for me. I have a journey to make,with my wife,my therapist and with the support of you brothers if I can call you that.I still have lots to share and will check in daily for help and questions on how you have dealt with your abuse,and recovery.

Bye for now,Kieran

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