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#403825 - 07/16/12 06:53 PM Re: Nothing is working, I'm sick of trying. [Re: chambers]
chambers Offline

Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 118
Loc: VA
Thank you so much for your support and advice guys. Robert, I think you're right about the sex thing. Hopefully if I continue to date I'll be able to control my urges and give more time to really get connected with someone before we get intimate.

#403862 - 07/17/12 12:14 AM Re: Nothing is working, I'm sick of trying. [Re: chambers]
Letourski Offline

Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
This is a great post. I have dealt with hyper-sexualization my entire life, and I have posted many times about it here on MS. I have spent most of life masturbating to porn. Sex really does become our biggest pre-occupation. I know for me it looks like this: sex = connecting. And again like this: you don't want to have sex with me = I am worthless.

I am seeing the lies for what they are and re-writing the script so to speak. I am choosing how I want to see relationships and how I see sex. And as you said Robert, I am setting boundaries for myself. But it all takes time, and I know that seeking someone to fill the loneliness is misguided. It took me 6 years to realize that fact alone. So I have decided to give up the porn and let my brain return to its natural state. I haven't the slightest clue what that looks like, but I know it's for the better.

Chambers, you are making progress. You have shown a willingness to try dating, and that is no easy feat even for the "normals". You are worth it, and the abuse won't define your future. There is resilience in you friend. Heal well.

I am the warrior.

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