good work with the honesty! we all need each other. we've got your back, man.
rest assured that there is almost nothing that you can say here that is motivated by honesty and a desire to heal and connect (as long as it is not abusive of others) that will get you condemned or shunned.
you are a wounded soldier - like the rest of us. we love and support you.
carry on. you are on the right road. don't stay away too long.
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"