whome gives great answers but I hope you'll appreciate my take until his post appears.
As a seven year old who was introduced to adult sex in a violent and disturbing way I had no context to understand. My childhood was truncated. Ended right then and there. But I wasn't adult, with adult perspecives and adult coping tools either. I became filled with complex emotions stemming from the trauma, self-blame, self-hate, rage, alienation to name but a few. These feelings are painful, too painful. So the mind shuts them down one by one until the child is the shell of a person feeling no emotion. No sorrow, no happiness, no love, no hate just numb. Drugs helped with that and so did my dad who was also emotionally unavailable. It worked great! I was an island, needing no one, trusting no one, content. Except sub-consciously all those raw, unprocessed issues were roiling in the background. That leads to destructive behaviors. My outwardly bad behavior fed my number one belief. That I am a bad person, unloveable and undeserving of love. I did hurtful things to my partner to prove my point. She forgave me. I did destructive things to myself to prove my point. She accepted me. I pushed the limits of trust and tolerence to show I was bad. She was there for me and she told me she always would be. But I needed to get help. I was an outsider going through the motions in my own family, unable to have an emotional relationship with my kid, my wife, my parents or anyone. I had spent so many years shutting those emotions down that I only felt like a stranger to the people that surrounded me. I think that's maybe what WHOME might mean. But he can tell you much more eloquantly than I.
Finding humor in the heartbreak