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#402334 - 07/02/12 09:04 AM False memory?
ahyden Offline

Registered: 05/22/12
Posts: 21
So 3 weeks ago I finally went to a psychologist for help and told him about the memories that has started to come back but he didn't believe me! He thought it was a false memory or implanted memory, since it happened while I was going to a therapist. But the therapist I went to didn't to any kind of memory recover stuff, I just started to remember one day.

The whole reason I went to him is because I can't deal with the memories and chaos inside.

He did give me antidepressant medication, called Pristiq, a new kind he claimed that barely has any side effect but since taking it I've gotten worse and worse. After about a 2-3 weeks I started getting horrible violent dreams I decided to stop and have started to reduce the dosage. I will never take that again.

What is the point of psychologist? Are they supposed to help me ? How can they help me if they don't believe me?

Edited by ahyden (07/02/12 09:14 AM)

#402363 - 07/02/12 05:38 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Napoleon Offline

Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I have had the same experience with repressed memories. I have no reservations that my flash backs are / were real experinces.

IF YOUR PSYC IS NOT WORKING FOR YOU FIND A NEW ONE. That would be my advise. They are supposed to help. If he isn't doing his job, tind a new Phyc that is willing to work with you. One that has experience with repressed memories. I have had a bad experience with most phycs…
�Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.� Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

#402369 - 07/02/12 06:04 PM . [Re: ahyden]
Life's A Dream Offline

Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island

Edited by Life's A Dream (01/13/13 02:49 AM)

#402375 - 07/02/12 06:30 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
dead_inside Offline

Registered: 07/02/12
Posts: 1
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
I turn 50 this year and have been seeing a therapist for 2 years, for other reasons. I am in an LTR, own a home and have a decent job. This year I started getting flashbacks. Not complete scenes, just snips. I was recently released from the hospital after making an attempt on my life. I am currently on Citalopram for depression. My life is collapsing around me and I am currently on sick leave with 12 weeks of group therapy ahead of me. If I look up the adult symptoms of child sexual abuse, I can check off most of them. If I review some of my life experiences, there were some happy times, but for the most part I didn't seem to feel anything. I honestly don't know if I ever experienced love or if I will feel it at all anymore. I am more like a robot. I go through the motions (hugs, thank you, your welcome...etc) but feel nothing. I have objectified women most of my life and after the sex died down, I dumped them or they dumped me. Can anyone else relate to this? Your experiences?

#402379 - 07/02/12 06:40 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
scottyg Offline

Registered: 06/26/12
Posts: 289
Loc: Seattle
Hang in there man. I HATE shrinks, too. My story Echoes from '79 is quite different than your own but the takeaway is the same: The professionals who're supposed to be "helping" often don't know what the hell they're doing and this ends up doing more harm than good.

It's hard to do, exhausting really, but you got to shop it around. I am recently returning to therapy after a 30 year break from the absolute quacks I saw as a child and I am auditioning my 3rd therapist this Friday. The first guy was so creepy and weird a never went back, the second guy was ok but after like 6 months of not really getting anywhere productive I called it quits and now I'm going to see a guy who was listed on this site. He's been a facilitator here so he seems pretty legit. Check out the mental health resources link on the main page of Male Survivor for referrals.

Again, I hate, hate, hate the profession because so many of them have fucked me over (figuratively). "Yes! More drugs are always the answer!" No, I need someone who's not a quack to help me. I don't like the process but for me the alienated, highly self-destructive alternative is worse. Stay here and stay strong ahyden. You'll get through.

#402417 - 07/03/12 01:35 AM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
traveler Offline

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4223
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
ahyden -

so sorry you were not believed and devalued/disrespected in that way. sometimes that feels like another violation or abuse.

you will always be taken seriously here. who would want to make this stuff up? we believe in you - not just what happened to you and you r story - but also your ability - with help - to make a comeback.

don't give up,
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

#402443 - 07/03/12 08:24 AM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Blessedcurse Offline

Registered: 06/05/12
Posts: 98
I can't believe why people still listen to these "false memory" people when there is so much proof that traumatic events really can be repressed and then reocurr in memory when the victim is ready to deal with it. Makes me so angry. To me this is just as bad as the people denying holocaust, only the "false memory"-people get lots of respect, getting the "controversial"-label on every article about repressed memories.

It's not controversial that memories can be repressed! It has been prooven many many times. Some years ago there was a child porn scandal in my country and when the abused children were shown the films of themselves being abused (in the trial) they still denied it happended. Even though there was proof the children said it wasn't them or they just started to talk about something else. This is just one example.

I find it horrible that a therapist would say to you that your memories are false. I hope you find a better one!

#402448 - 07/03/12 12:51 PM Re: False memory? [Re: Blessedcurse]
ahyden Offline

Registered: 05/22/12
Posts: 21
Thanks all, I feel supported and believed here. I was just so frustrated by the experience and needed to share. Strange thing is I didn't get angry when it happened but afterwards when I thought about it.

Others here recommended me to interview the psychologist before I decide which one I just find it really difficult since I get very anxious in social situations but I guess I really have to try. I'm going to leave this one and try to find another.

Thanks all

#402449 - 07/03/12 12:58 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
ahyden Offline

Registered: 05/22/12
Posts: 21
I didn't really know about this false memory syndrome thing... maybe it is possible that can happen, but I know that my memories are real and it explains all the pain and problems I've had since I can first remember. The psychologist have theories but do they know what it's like to be so hurt? The word hurt doesn't come anywhere close to the real meaning.. there are no words. I guess what I really need is a human being who can relate... so I'm grateful to be here, because this is the only place I've found where people really get it.

#402450 - 07/03/12 01:06 PM Re: False memory? [Re: dead_inside]
ahyden Offline

Registered: 05/22/12
Posts: 21

Yeah I can relate to this. I'm younger but I recognize a lot of what you say. I also have flashbacks, I think for me they are the worst of it all.

I think I'm realizing that what I went through is too big to carry for one person. That is why it had to be repressed so I could survive. Now it's coming back to me I need other people. Maybe it's not like that for everyone but that is what I'm realizing now for myself. I can only carry it with the support of other people and that is what I'm focusing on now, to find support.

I hope your therapy will help you and that you get through this. There are other people on this site who has gone through it and healed so I try to think of them to see that it is possible.

Edited by ahyden (07/03/12 01:07 PM)

#402453 - 07/03/12 01:27 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
unhappycamper Offline

Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 754
Loc: VA
The "false memory" thing started as a =legal defense=, not a psychological or medical diagnosis. As I recall, it came to prominence during the George Franklin case (1990-91) in California, where a man was convicted of murdering his daughter's playmate based entirely on his daughter's 20-year-old "recovered memories" with absolutely NO other evidence. I have to admit, if I were a juror, I would have "reasonable doubt" of his guilt, in the absence of any other evidence linking the defendant to this crime. Franklin was convicted but this was later reversed for violation of his right to avoid self-incrimination. The reversal had nothing to do with the "false memory" issue--rather, it was because the prosecutor had presented as evidence Franklin's refusal to answer his daughter's question about the death when she confronted him in the prison visiting room. He had simply made a "shush" gesture and pointed to the surveillance camera.

Since then the "false memory defense" has been used to discredit and disparage many delayed-recall witnesses, both credible and in-, corroborated and un-. There's no doubt that our memory can be erroneous, at least as to details, and that other people can influence what we believe we remember. However, the "false memory" argument carefully avoids the subject of traumatic amnesia, which ranges from forgetting one's lines due to stage fright, all the way to "missing time" in the course of extreme trauma.

I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on the Internet, but I've had to learn about this stuff in order to hang onto sanity over the past 18 years. Peace, all!


#402458 - 07/03/12 02:22 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Sailor John Offline

Registered: 10/04/11
Posts: 310
Loc: Newfoundland & Labrador
Hi ahyden,

There are many Medical Professionals who "laugh at you" when you tell them about memory recall of traumatic events. My doctor explained it to me this way - because traumatic events act on our brain the way they do, they get locked away in a dark corner of the brain until we are ready to process the information by being triggered by some event, smell, persons look, etc.

When our brain "gives us permission" to start processing the bad things, it allows only the parts of the trauma that our brain "gives permission" to recall. The flashback is why things won't necessarily occur in the order things happened. We are getting the "easier" stuff for us to process with the "harder" stuff comming as it "is cleared" by our brain to be processed.
I will mourn the teenager I never was and strive to make that dot of light way out in the far reaches of the end of the tunnel turn into a bright sun.


#402466 - 07/03/12 03:46 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Napoleon Offline

Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I have also read about cases where there are photos and still people deny it...

My very first recall was with a therapist. It was too traumatic to handle, and I re-suppressed it. It is possible for the memories to be brushed into accidently. However if you’re not ready they can re-suppress… Over the next 9 months the memory was re-suppressed… 9 months after the first “brush” the flashback began.

I think it interesting that people in a car wreck are expected to not remember because of the trauma, yet rape victims are expected remember the far more traumatic rape perfectly? Just a note…
�Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.� Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

#486427 - 08/02/15 10:49 PM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Dissociated1 Offline

Registered: 07/11/15
Posts: 30
Loc: Virginia
I struggled with the idea that the memories I was recovering were false. My psychologist explained there was no confusing the flashbacks I was experiencing with "false memories." The primitive lymbic part of my brain where trauma is stored cannot distinguish memory from current reality. My mind was reliving the horror of what happened to me as a child as if I was experiencing it for the first time. The intensity of flashback is impossible to duplicate from a memory created by the conscious adult mind.

As a note, my Mother is still alive and has verified every memory I have recovered over the course of therapy.

Edited by Dissociated1 (08/03/15 02:06 AM)
Survivor in therapy for Dissociative Identity Disorder

#486449 - 08/03/15 09:01 AM Re: False memory? [Re: ahyden]
Strive 38/11 Offline

Registered: 07/24/15
Posts: 141
Loc: Australia
Fuck brother you let loose the magic word "try" well done
Just because someone stumbles and loses their way,
does not mean they're lost forever.

Strive 38/11

Get out of my way I'm coming through on my own.
I'm coming through all alone - Tunnel - Screaming Jets

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