I need to do this now while I still have the courage.
It started in the mid eighties, my memory is still foggy. It was my older brother who is about 5 yrs older than me. He would abuse me and tell me he was teaching me how to do it to girls. It only progressed from there. I remember coming home from school and because of my parents work obligations they would not be home. He would be lying on the couch completely naked. And he would have me get undressed and he would have me perform felatio on him and he would sodomize me. I remember my bottom hurting and hate coming home. I wish my parents didn't have to work. For whatever reason it stoped I don't remember why or how.
After living with this for 20+ years I realize that my CSA was the cause of my addiction to porn and transvestites. Luckily I found a beautiful and caring spouse who I told what happened to me in 2006. But my addiction continued until we realized that it was because of my CSA. We are in the process of seeking help.
As my memory gets better ill edit this for corrections and additions.
Thanks for listening
Edited by ModTeam (06/20/12 11:34 AM)
Edit Reason: Added trigger warning.