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#39986 - 06/14/03 04:19 PM Fathers Day!
Little_E Offline
Member & Volunteer
Registered: 11/14/02
Posts: 169
Loc: London UK
Tomorow (Sunday June 15th) is Fathers day over here in the UK. I havent seen my Parents in just over 3 months. And I miss them. I usealy been able to get back home once a month from uni, to say hi, but been working to hard, Havent had much time for anyone else, let alone my self.

My Dad, has always been there for me. He never abused me. I know I have never been very close to him, and he wasnt there while growing up, him working all the hr's he could to provid for us. I understand stand now. But then i didnt. Its only now am I being to see the friendly port in a sea of troubles. What I need... No what I am going to do 2morow, is catch the train down and surprise him, Show him i do love him. And how much he means to me.

Since I have been at uni, he supported me as and when he can, he's given me my rent money twice, And i know that he dont have that much. I owe him so much. I just dont think he knows that. 2morow i will make it right, I will show him that I will be there for him as well.

I love my dad, I just wanted to share that!


If your not livin on the edge your taking up to much space!


#39987 - 06/14/03 05:55 PM Re: Fathers Day!
blacken Offline
Chat Moderator

Registered: 08/13/01
Posts: 1910
Loc: Northern Ohio
Its nice to here some1 say they Love their Dad. I am glad he was & continues to be a friendly port in a sea of troubles.

I have a very different feeling toward F day. All the advertisings about "gifts for Dad" make me sick. I am also jelious of those who acually love their Dads. I always wondered about that as a kid. I had allways found it incomperhencable when some1 would say they loved their father, when I despized my own so much.

I sincerely hope you have a Great day with ur Dad tomorow!!

#39988 - 06/14/03 08:19 PM Re: Fathers Day!
fragile37 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7
Father's Day...I am just about numb and have not been able to leave the house for the last few days. The first official Father's Day was June 19,1966. This was my birthday and a secret until one day I looked at calendars in the library as a teenager. No one ever made mention to the day my birthday fell on and it makes me wonder why. My father always said your "my boy" and maybe thats why. Im the baby of five kids,three sisters inbetween,and my bro the oldest. Everyone got beat my dad but me,I got the sexual abuse. Im not sure how tomorrow will be but I will say hi to dad in my own way. I am still waiting to join him in the grave.

#39989 - 06/14/03 09:18 PM Re: Fathers Day!
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
These various holidays are hard for we who are in recovery from whatever. I wish someone could find a way to help us through these when they are hellishly painful. There is no easy answer I guess.

Fragile, your joy is not in the grave with your father. Your joy is in knowing that he could not rob you of life. Now, you and most all of us, need to figure out how to live life to the fullest in spite of that sad stuff that happened to us.

On Friday the 13th a bunch of people here went sky-diving. One of them said that jumping out of the plane and free-floating until they joined together was "the greatest thing in life." I kind of hope life has more to offer than jumping out of a plane.

Perhaps we can figure out a way to celebrate the day as the men who fathered themselves--and I think we were pretty good fathers most of the time.


If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

#39990 - 06/14/03 10:09 PM Re: Fathers Day!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
I'm like you a bit, I wasn't abused by my father or any family member. But I'm not that close to him either, I've lost so much in the last 30+ years that it's hard to catch up. But like you, I'm trying.
I can't be with him tomorrow, but I've seen him today and I'll take both parents out for dinner next week sometime.

How guys like Blacken, Fragile and all the others who suffered at the hands of their fathers cope with this 'celebration' I find hard to imagine, it must be like having your face rubbed in the memory of the abuse.
Do as Bob say's maybe, and celebrate the fact that you are a good father figure to yourself ( and your family if you have one ) Nobody say's you have to join in with all the 'happy families' - although with all the advertising it's damned hard to avoid it.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#39991 - 06/15/03 04:23 AM Re: Fathers Day!
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Fathers Day is cool with me even tho my bio father
incested me & left when I was 4. First of all becuz I have broken the cycle and been an if-not-perfect then a definitely-not-abusive father. My daughters' both love me & I them. Also I have a cool father in law tho I don't see him much; he's up north. Also I believe in a heavenly Father Who tho I've often questioned it loves me & has never abused me.

Lots of ways to look at what a father is and to celebrate Fathers Day.

Tomorrow I get a fresh peach pie from my wife & daughter! Good enuf!


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

#39992 - 06/15/03 05:41 AM Re: Fathers Day!
Nathan LaChine Offline

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5411
Loc: Washington State
Elliot I hope you and your dad have a great time. It is never too late to tell/show someone how much you love them.

lots of love, Nathan

#39993 - 06/15/03 09:42 AM Re: Fathers Day!
Ivanhoe Offline

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Hey, you guys.

I celebrate with Elliot and wish him God's speed in his trip to be with his father.

I mourn for those of us who have mixed feelings or feelings of hate for fathers who weren't there or who beat us, or berated us, or abused us.

I almost can't explain the joy that I have in my heart for all of the Fathering that goes on here.
Some of us were nearly destroyed by our fathers and yet most of us turn and give solice and comfort and understanding and LOVE.

How could we have been so unfortunate?

How could we be more blessed by the men here who shelter us from the storm and offer us a warm place to be.

A warm place to be, to be, to be...............


"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

#39994 - 06/15/03 10:30 AM Re: Fathers Day!
bowman Offline

Registered: 04/19/03
Posts: 72
Originally posted by ivanhoe:

How could we be more blessed by the men here who shelter us from the storm and offer us a warm place to be.
Well put, Ivanhoe.

Elliot, its good to hear about your dad, a good reminder that my narrow focus on my issues doesn't apply to the whole world. Have a great day.

Let's hear it for all the men on this site who were fathers to the best of their ability and didn't pass on the horrors of their pasts. Thinking of that actually makes me appreciate this holiday.


#39995 - 06/15/03 11:37 AM Re: Fathers Day!
fragile37 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...GOOD GUYS THAT IS!!I had a good chat buddy to help through the night on another site. Sorry if I was too negative. It's going to be a great day and im going to the lake to enjoy the sun. All good here 4 now.

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