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#399211 - 06/02/12 06:09 PM Interesting ..... and disheartening
Anomalous Offline

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2242
Hi Guys,

I was speaking to group T the other night, asking her if she knew of more recent books about and for those who were sexually abused/ assaulted as adults.

I also asked her for any information she might be able to get from the professional associations to which she belongs.

She told me that until she was given the ASA Resource thread, she never knew of any books about and for ASA.

She also said that she hasn't seen any information regarding ASA in the professional associations.

Further research on my own shows that the only research being done regarding adult males who were sexually assaulted as adults is being done in the UK.

There is NO research being done, anywhere, regarding adult males who have been sexually abused as adults.

This puts us in a difficult position.

We need help, but to get the help, we have to break the silence and let the therapeutic community know that we exist and that we need them to educate themselves.

I have searched for contact information for the authors of the books on the list. I figured that would be a good place to start.

Michael Scarce, the author of Male on Male Rape: The Hidden Toll of Stigma and Shame (1997) can be reached here:

I have not yet been able to find information Richie J. McMullen author of Male Rape: Breaking the Silence on the Last Taboo.

I found a google reference to the editor, Gillian C.Mezey, but not contact information. The same for the author Michael B. King, Male victims of Sexual Assault.

I would like as many of you as possible to contact Michael Scarce. It is a place for us to start to be heard, and to be heard by someone who has an interest in the topic, at least as far as the assault of adult males are concerned.

I will be asking my T when I see her later this month for information regarding the professional associations to which she belongs.

It is disheartening that there is so little attention being paid to the abuse and assault of adult males.

Just as those before us had to clamor to be heard and to get the therapeutic community off their collective duffs, so will we, if we want things to change.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#399226 - 06/03/12 03:00 AM Re: Interesting ..... and disheartening [Re: Anomalous]
CruxFidelis Offline

Registered: 06/16/10
Posts: 486
Loc: NJ
and also... I can't believe some PhD candidate hasn't snagged this as a dissertation topic yet. I started working on a PhD at one point before my assault, and my topic was eastern european folklore.... do you know how many other literary nerds enjoy sitting around writing about elves and vampires and crap? There's a lot to sift through to come up with an original piece of research.

There are so many questions about male ASA left unanswered. And unlike the vampires and elves, there are real people out there who would actually benefit from an increase in academic discourse about this topic. I can't imagine that it would be hard coming up with a truly original dissertation topic if a student went in this direction.
“If a man wishes to be sure of the road he treads on, he must close his eyes and walk in the dark.”

- Saint John of the Cross

#399227 - 06/03/12 03:10 AM Re: Interesting ..... and disheartening [Re: Anomalous]
prisonerID Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 02/17/08
Posts: 1247
Loc: Oklahoma

I am glad that you brought this forward here. I have often said that I am very disappointed with the therapeutic community. I will always appreciate the therapists I had over the years and especially my last one. But as a whole they have failed us. I think part of it has to do with finances - there is not a lot of money in it apparently. Perhaps it is not a popular bandwagon to jump on or to even put the wagon together in the first place.

I have made the rounds for years with little to no success. For every therapist I had I was their first client who was an adult male who had been raped. None flinched or ran from me which was a good thing.

I think your thoughts and plans are valid ones and worth the effort. I hope your correspondences bring forth some fruit. One day I may take up the cause again but for now I am pretty much worn down from the struggle of knocking on doors. My knuckles became too sore and bloody.

Broad statements often miss their true mark.

#399263 - 06/03/12 05:41 PM Re: Interesting ..... and disheartening [Re: Anomalous]
Anomalous Offline

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 2242
Hi Guys,

And taht is exactly the problem ....

For many T's we ARE their first and, perhaps, ONLY, client who has been sexually abused or assaulted as an adult (unless your T specializes in sexual abuse).

As a result, the individual T's do not have a sense of how many men there are who have been abused or assaulted as adults.

Many T's do not go to conferences, etc., and if they do, since they only have ONE client who has been sexually abused or assaulted as an adult, they do not think to "present" about it.

The conferences are where T's exchange information and, for lack of a better expression, take the pulse of the therapeutic needs of society.

Whether your write letters or emails is up to you, but the more the better.

More important is to tell your T to join the professional associations specific to sexual abuse and to attend the conferences AND to speak up about adult male sexual abuse and assault and to speak about the lack of resources for professionals. Only by networking with other T's who work with adult males who have been sexually abused or assaulted will the therapeutic community see how great the problem, and need, truly is.

Sitting on our collective duffs, waiting for someone to write dissertations or to get interested in a topic they don't even know exists is the kind of complacency we cannot afford, unless we want to wait 40 years or so, like other sexual abuse survivors did.

We have an advantage of sorts, as difficult as that is to believe. The therapeutic community does not need to "reinvent the wheel." The concepts of sexual abuse and assault, PTSD, and all of the other trauma symptoms are well known and are very well documented. What needs to be done is to recognize that this is happening to a previously ignored population and to fine tune the therapy to meet the needs of that population.

But the therapeutic community has to know just how great the need is before they can, or will, act.

If anyone has any ideas on how to go about disseminatng this information in such a way as to reach many T's and the organizations to whom they belong, the media, etc., I would love to hear them.

Together we can get our needs met.

Going about this as lone wolves is working to our detriment.

Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

#399841 - 06/09/12 01:12 AM Re: Interesting ..... and disheartening [Re: Anomalous]
J.Bytendorp Offline

Registered: 03/09/09
Posts: 43
Loc: Salt Lake CIty, Utah
As a therapist and having done some research in the Sex Abuse arena, there are more and more articles coming out about Sex Abuse of Men in general, CSA, and yes even a few referring to ASA. I think the theraputic community is lagging behind, but there is hope. Speak out about this, I am glad Anomalous that you are doing this. I know for myself I did my thesis on gay male survivors and was shocked to find the differences between CSA and ASA. There needs to be specific research addressing ASA but it is hard, especially with how hidden the ASA population is.

Joshua Bytendorp

#423074 - 01/24/13 06:08 AM Re: Interesting ..... and disheartening [Re: Anomalous]
ThisMan Offline

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 778
Loc: upper south
I am not a therapist, but I tried my own self-therapy before I decided I needed more than I could offer myself. I downloaded Michael Scarce's book. I found it a good, powerful read. Since my experience was given to me by a friend, I also downloaded The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker. (I mean I experienced acquaintance rape.) These two books began my intellectual journey toward resolution with myself. While trying to discover other males who might have experienced similar events- ASA- rape- I discovered what you did. In the US, there are a multitude of resources for women and for the victims of CSA. The materials I found for men of ASA were produced and published in the UK and in New Zealand. A very handy pamphlet I might recommend is When A Man Is Raped. This can be accessed at
There are others on line, but I am certain most have seen them. Hopefully I contributed something of value and thanks for your posts.
For now we see through a glass, darkly.


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