one of those times when i wonder if healing is worth it...
last night was graduation. "my kids" are leaving. it is good and normal and healthy and i am so proud of them!
- it hurts like hell. like the Tinman in the Wizard of Oz, i say, “Now I know I've got a heart because it is breaking."
for decades i denied, repressed, refused emotions. i built a wall around my heart and had an armed guard and a huge sign saying "KEEP OUT!"
this is the first time i have felt this intense emotion when parting with people i care about. even when my own birth children went away to college - i didn't feel this much.
i guess that this is evidence that i have progressed and am really getting in touch with my emotions, but as the Wizard said, “I think you are wrong to want a heart. It makes most people unhappy. If you only knew it, you are in luck not to have a heart.... Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."
they tell me it's good - but i gotta wonder if it's worth it?