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#397222 - 05/15/12 01:44 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
Disappointed Offline

Registered: 08/11/09
Posts: 542
Loc: U.S.A.
I've disappeared because I got busy with other things, because I felt I wasn't learning anymore than I already knew, and thought my presence was counterproductive.

My friend's progress is agonizingly slow. Glacier slow. He is dedicated to fixing the problem by ignoring it, which doesn't work. He wants to pretend all the symptoms are the problem, and the symptoms don't really matter at all.

KMCINVA's posts about the child have been SUPER helpful, though, as have Pufferfish's (a/k/a Allen). This multiple personality stuff is TOUGH.

It does seem a forum just for the ladies would be good. Because when you guys read it, I don't think that always helps you or the ladies.

#397229 - 05/15/12 03:02 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
Pie Offline

Registered: 05/27/11
Posts: 61
I have to say ditto to all.

My husband and I have drawn closer than ever over the past six months and his healing has been mind blowing. Some days I ask if its real. This is the reason I return on occasion, but recently I have found that the girls are getting "abused" in a so called safe place. Personally I have tried to add posts that have helped my H and myself in our healing. It just seems that they are not appreciated or wanted.

I would like to maintain my healing and learn as much as possible and unfortunatly I'm not sure if this is the right place anymore. I hope we can all move towards the ultimate goal in peace and understanding.

Keep the healing happening

#397235 - 05/15/12 04:56 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
iambubba Offline

Registered: 04/24/12
Posts: 31
Loc: Canada
I don't post often still kinda new but when I found this site this forum really helped me.
Its nice to know that women, mothers, patrners really do care and want to be supportive.
Great to read posts about how you feel as well cause I know I get wrapped up in myself and forget about others.
One of the posts I read the other day made me stop and think about my mom..... I went to her house after work just for a hug... I'm 36 ....but felt 12 again.. sometimes I forget the impact it has on people around us ...thanks for the reminders and kind words.
You need a place to vent just like us.
Please post.

#397277 - 05/15/12 08:59 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3863
Loc: South-East Europe
I'm really sorry hearing that some survivors made our ladies and friends here feeling unsafe, that fact really sucks and hurts me very much frown
If we survivors don't know how to show some compassion, understanding and support, things that we need the most, I can't see how we expect to get all that by our spouses, wives, partners and families?
Understanding and appreciation are at least things that we can give/show to our friends from F&F part of board.
One more time I'm sorry and my apology for bad behavior of some our survivors to all of you here.
I wish that I have some magic wand to remove some bad feelings left to your souls, we all have enough problems beside this...
I guess that we survivors need to learn making some constructive conversations (not destructive) here. Different view can't be excuse for some inappropriate behavior.
If some survivor would attack you or have some inappropriate talk please notify it to mods without any hesitation and further discussion, keep your energy for some good stuff.
Please don't leave us and keep sharing your thoughts openly, we need badly to hear your voices here.

My story

#397282 - 05/15/12 09:16 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
whome Offline

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
Hi Pero

I think that we had a bit of a problem with the Mods editing and deleting some of the F&F posts. So in a sense the survivors can say what they want but the F&F cant.
It was in my opinion a little unfair and I noticed a steady decline in the posts after this happened.

Lets be honest, I personally would not have made it through my healing without my wife, and I wish that she were on this board.
These partners are victims too and they also need a safe place to heal.

Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

#397288 - 05/15/12 10:05 PM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
peroperic2009 Offline

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3863
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi Martin,
I can just say that there are moments like this one when some dialogue is needed even that could be against some policies set here.
In any case couple of supportive and encouraging words to our friends here can't hurt no one.

And I'll be honest too, if I've had wife I would like very much if she could be part of this board...

PS. Thank you for opening this thread!
My story

#397313 - 05/16/12 01:41 AM Re: Whats up? NO POSTS [Re: whome]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus

Registered: 01/28/08
Posts: 2615
Loc: Central PA
There are some survivors here who feel they can't say what they want either.

For better or worse there are rules and guidelines in place to protect everyone and sometimes that means posts may be edited or removed altogether. The person whose post is effected always feels wronged or slighted in some fashion no matter the reason. It's even happened to me in the past.

The best course of action is to PM a mod and ask about the issue. Although this does not guarantee that you are going to like the answer, but hopefully it will clear up any confusion.

#397332 - 05/16/12 07:53 AM . [Re: whome]
lady123 Offline

Registered: 09/14/11
Posts: 28

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