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#396263 - 05/06/12 12:48 PM Survivor to Thriver
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 145
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Hi all

I've just rejoined this Forum, many years ago I joined and read the posts but never interacted. I've rejoined as a Thriver.

I'm from Johannesburg, South Africa and was sexually abused as a child by a number of perpetrators, a sports coach and a teacher. I was also violently gang raped in 1983 while I was in the armed forces, in fact the air force, while on active duty in a foreign country for a cause that I disapproved of.( it was a time when there was conscription, if you refused, you were sent to jail for 10 years).

Ten years ago my life changed, I spent 18 months in therapy and after being married for 15 years I told my wife, later I told my children. Today we are still married, she supported me thru it all, for that I will be eternally grateful and think our love is stronger than ever. She is my best friend and soulmate.

Ten years ago I began my journey to move from a victim to a survivor. It has taken me another 10 years to become a thriver.

Yesterday was another important day in that journey, I have joined up with another thriver, who has been active on this forum and who has done an enormous amount of work already and we together are starting an organization in Johannesburg for Adult Male Survivors of Abuse and Rape.

My journey will never be complete, I will need ongoing support to stay healed.

I've decided to sign off with my real name as that shows the world that I now control my life and that my perpetrators and rapists have lost all the power they once had over my mind and life.






Edited by JoziSA (05/06/12 03:36 PM)
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

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#396278 - 05/06/12 02:33 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 4223
Loc: resettling in NE Ohio
thanks for returning - and bringing experience and wisdom with you to share.

welcome back!
Lee
_________________________
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....
Habakkuk 1:2-3

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#396281 - 05/06/12 03:08 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
KMCINVA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3785
Wonderful story and I am glad you are here to share--keep thriving--that is the goal for everyone here.

Kevin

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#396295 - 05/06/12 04:53 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1631
Loc: Minnesota
Welcome Jozi!

Great things are happening in your country- I know whome is one of them and an glad u are joining him in these efforts.

We all have hope and productive experience to offer men who still suffer in silence. I applaud your recovery and see it brightening the world.

Jamie
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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#396300 - 05/06/12 05:31 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 145
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Jamie

Thanks, you are right, he has done a lot of the ground work already, I've had to do a lot of catching up. We are both passionate about this new path we are about to take together, he already has a network out there. We have both been communicating with the same people and I think it was Ken or Mike who but us in touch with each other. (I will check my emails at work tommorrow)

First there was one and then there was two...soon we will have a organization in Johannesburg and then branches throughout South Africa.

As the old adage goes it is TEAM work - Together Everybody Achieves More
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

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#396303 - 05/06/12 05:41 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3854
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi JoziSA,
this is great and so inspiring story. Thanks for sharing with us. I'm glad that you have return to this site smile !
And I'm happy to hear that Martin has found some fellow in South Africa whit same interest and passion for other brothers.
Both of you deserve standing ovation for your work!
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#396312 - 05/06/12 08:16 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
Dolphinboy Offline


Registered: 10/30/11
Posts: 62
Hi Jozi
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope to find the courage to post my own story here some day. There is so much strength confidence in your words, I whish I had some of that.

Fellow South African
DB
_________________________
When there are dolphins in the waves,
the sharks wont get to us.
I believed my dad that day
and became Dolphinboy,
my own protector.

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#396441 - 05/07/12 09:16 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
whome Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/07/11
Posts: 1743
Loc: Johannesburg South Africa
HI All

Jozi, welcome to the site, it is refreshing to have someone else here that is from JHB and is also a thriver.
Dolphin boy, you to can have this, we are living proof of this brother, When you have time, give me a call and we can try and help you through this. One day you can be running a group in your town.

Jamie great to hear from you and Pero, thanks again man you are also a great active person.

This is a great site.

Heal well all
Martin
_________________________
Matrix Men South Africa
Survivors Supporting Each other
Matrix Men Blog

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#396505 - 05/08/12 03:15 PM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
JoziSA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/05/12
Posts: 145
Loc: Johannesburg, South Africa
Thanks for the welcome

This site is about sharing and healing, so today I posted a little more of my story on the Military Survivor forum. "I was raped while on active duty"

I feel at home amongst you fellow survivors
_________________________
Rees (JoziSA)
My Story and Blog www.kilimalesurvivor.wordpress.com

South African MALE SURVIVORS of Sexual Abuse
www.samsosa.org
If your mind can perceive it and your heart can believe it, YOU can achieve it.

Top
#396533 - 05/09/12 12:23 AM Re: Survivor to Thriver [Re: JoziSA]
Geeders Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/03/08
Posts: 1901
Loc: Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Welcome Rees:

Its always nice to hear from some of the old boys of the organization that haven't been active for a while. Welcome back!

And as a reminder to all, that exchange of private contact information between members is strongly discouraged until each has been on the site a minimum of three months. This is intended to keep everyone safe. It may seem controlling, or even arbitrary, but I can assure you its not.

I know, and recall that in my early days I was very anxious to get to know people here. I had felt so alone for so long that, to find a whole bunch of guys just like me was overwhelming. Take your time. Get to know the other through each other's posts, and opinions. As time goes on you'll get a pretty good impression of the other. Its imperative that the site remain safe for all users. Requesting, or offering private contact info can overwhelm people who have been traumatized. Lets keep MS comfy and safe for all members. Thanks.

Jim
_________________________
My name is Jim
WoR Mysthaven 2008, Level 2 WoR Alta 2009, Kirkridge 2010, 2011, Oprah 200 men

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