yeah - i can relate to the anxiety about being watched or being followed. one of the really bad memories/feelings is of walking down a street late at night and hearing footsteps behind me - not knowing if it is coincidence or if they are really following me - afraid to stop, afraid to turn around and look, afraid to go faster in case the follower speeds up too, afraid to turn into a side street in case i become more vulnerable... i was 17 and i could take to you exactly the same spot where it happened. i got away that time - i don't remember how. but there must have been something else that happened earlier to cause the panic that time.
guessing it is the same fopr you, LAD. these triggers don't become triggers without a reason.
How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?...
Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails....