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#394860 - 04/25/12 01:00 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: dragon]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3950
Loc: settling in the USA again
Originally Posted By: woundeddragon
i feel like i am loosing control though as i try to gain control ya know?..


yes- how well i know - it's always difficult to deal with change - even totally good change causes all kinds of re-adjustments and previously un-required flexibility and uncertainty. And when the change means lauching out into unknown waters... it's even more scary.

the important thing right now is for you to find a place of safety and have the time and space to start healing - even resting and recovering from all the trauma and drama is a form of healing. the fact that YOU are the one making the decisions and bringing about the change means you have a degree of control. you'll never be able to control every circumstance or situation anyway.

i wish you all the best, and keep us in the loop on your progress!
lee

P.S. I read parts of your story to my wife and whe was very moved. She said - "don't you wish you could have them come and live with us?" i love that! no way it could happen - we don't even live in the U.S. but i want you to know that there are those who will open their hearts to you... just praying that you cross paths with the right and safe ones!
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

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#394868 - 04/25/12 01:23 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
**
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

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#394869 - 04/25/12 01:27 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: traveler]
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
**
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

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#394875 - 04/25/12 01:36 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: dragon]
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
**
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

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#394984 - 04/26/12 12:40 AM * [Re: dragon]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:34 PM)

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#394985 - 04/26/12 12:43 AM * [Re: dragon]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:34 PM)

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#394990 - 04/26/12 01:19 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: dragon]
Anomalous Offline

Greeter Coordinator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 1804
Hi Jayy,

I am happy to hear that you moved into a place of your own.

Reading that the person who says he "loves" you has resorted to physical violence made me angry, and afraid for you.

Good for you for getting yourself into your own place and for creating a healthy and safe environment for yourself and for your son.

Things can seem "out of control" as you try to get control of your life. You are making a lot of major changes, and change can be scarey, even when the changes are desired.

I hope that guy respects your boundaries and that he leaves you alone, or that he is at least not physically harming you if he does see you. If he doesn't respect your boundaries or if he hits you again, you will need to take measures to protect yourself, which might include a restraining order. Hopefully things won't come to that.

Please attend to your physical and medical needs, not only for your own well being, but so you can be there for your son. You deserve to be healthy, physically and emotionally. Working with a therapist will help you set healthy boundaries as well as heal from all you have endured.

You are a great guy, and a great father.

Now it's time to learn how to show that love and compassion to yourself.





Anomalous
_________________________
Acceptance on someone else's terms is worse than rejection.

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#394997 - 04/26/12 02:34 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
**
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

Top
#394998 - 04/26/12 02:37 AM Re: confused in a huge mess [Re: Anomalous]
dragon Offline


Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 355
Loc: on the river between Hades n V...
**
_________________________
I don't want to look back;I just want to start again;Somebody save me--- Pop Evil: Broken and Betrayed

I want justice I want you overthrown;I want courage I want to stand alone;I want your arrogance and I want your pain;I want your everything and I want you dead--- Rev Theory: Justice

Top
#395133 - 04/27/12 12:34 AM * [Re: dragon]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 05:36 PM)

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