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#392965 - 04/10/12 09:44 AM .
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:05 PM)

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#392967 - 04/10/12 09:51 AM Re: Does repression affect you like a bad dream? [Re: Life's A Dream]
KMCINVA Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 3053
I do not think my memories were repressed, I always remembered the first time it happened and other acts that were done. I just pushed it back and they would be triggered from time to time from emotional upheaval, specific incidents or words. But I could always bury them--but I now know burying does not stop the effects of CSA on one's life as to trust, respect self, feeling worthless and not valued. I think many say repressed memories but believe many remember the abuse or parts of the abuse--either buried or repressed I believe the abuse has a negative effect on our growth, identity and self perceptions.

I also understand you comments about disturbing dreams or situations. I remember my Mom wanted us to be American kids that ate peanut butter. So one Sunday after church instead of butter on the rolls she put peanut butter on the roll. Well to this day, neither my brother nor I ate eat peanut butter or any nuts. The horrible taste and smell has remained with me--I think like the abuse-would wish it on no one and believe no one should have to live with it.

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#392968 - 04/10/12 09:52 AM Re: Does repression affect you like a bad dream? [Re: Life's A Dream]
joehurts Offline


Registered: 03/27/12
Posts: 22
Loc: seattle
I think that when you put it like that, everyone is a regresser. I have done just what you described and avoided people and places with out realizeing it. But I have not regressed what happened to me. Maybe some of it, but I wouldn't count it as regression.

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#392971 - 04/10/12 10:00 AM Re: Does repression affect you like a bad dream? [Re: Life's A Dream]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2611
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
Say you didn't remember for decades that you'd been abused, but you still had all the effects: low self-esteem, avoiding that person, sexual insecurity, depression, thoughts of suicide, etc?
I remembered nothing from my childhood for years, including the abuse, but I have suffered from its effects (PTSD, low esteem depression, anxiety, etc) as long as I can remember.

I'm now in my upper 50's - still remember very very little, and still suffer from the effects. Most of the time my reactions are so intense I don't think to examine where the root of the reaction might be. Working on it - but not there yet.
_________________________
Number of WoR's attended: 4
Last attended: 2011
Blog: https://survivorroad.wordpress.com

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#392975 - 04/10/12 10:37 AM Re: Does repression affect you like a bad dream? [Re: Life's A Dream]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3956
Loc: settling in the USA again
Originally Posted By: Life's A Dream
I've heard repressers say they were still affected by CSA, even before they recalled it. I started to think "Where else have I seen a similar phenomenon?" Then I realized, sometimes I'll have a disturbing nightmare, then (as happens if you don't make an effort to remember it) I will forget I'd even had the dream an hour later, but the sickening impression of the dream stays with me the rest of the day. ... So, an enduring effect, all without you needing to consciously remember.

So, I ask all the repressers on here, is that how it worked for you? Say you didn't remember for decades that you'd been abused, but you still had all the effects: low self-esteem, avoiding that person, sexual insecurity, depression, thoughts of suicide, etc?


You nailed it in describing my experience. had all the symptoms but didn't know why. only much later the memories started returning. some recovered memories were filling in details of events that thought i remembered and i didn't know the details were incomplete. Some were totally "new" but as soon as i regained them i knew that i recognized them...

good description, LAD.
Lee
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

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#392976 - 04/10/12 10:41 AM . [Re: MarkK]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (01/12/13 11:05 PM)

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