I dont think he passed away
that sounds so banal,
serious trigger warning!
I talked to him many times, his life was fucking hell
he was in an abussive place where he was prostituted, and used and beaten
he felt he could not get away cuz part of him felt he deserved to be used and abused. There was part of his sexuality so wrapped up in the pain /pleasure cycle he could not see that he deserved so much better. He was abused, his little brother was abused.
He had a life that no one deserves. His mother was an addict and there was no love ever. He was afraid for his life, we talked about trying to get him to a better place, to go to the police, the authorities , anyone who would listen. Call the press i said, with all the penn state stuff , someone will come to get you out. No he said , "what makes you think i want out."
It breaks my heart , it really does. He was a really sweet guy, he was caring and empathetic. He did not deserve this fate
was he finally murdered when his perp went over the line, did he take his own life or die of wounds inflicted that went untreated? It doesnt really matter, but good wishes and prayers mean nothing. The only thing that would have saved Terrell was himself. It fucking sucks that so many wait for a sign or a hope that someone will rescue them when only the survivor can rescue the survivor. We can be supportive and encourage, but each of us must do what it takes.
Maybe its just all the tacit back patting that is so ineffectual, but its time to call bullshit. There can only be salvation if the person saves themselves. He finally told me to fuck off, stop trying to rescue him, "what gives you the right to think i want to be anywhere else" he told me. I guess I had no right. Sadly he is where he decided to be.
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011