you are a brave person.
i wish you luck.
i hope your journey to recovery is a good one.
Every positive change - every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness - involves a rite of passage. Each time to ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception. --Dan Millman
take care bro.
If you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
~ adapted from: Sri Ram