Hey dear Lee,
glad that you told us some things. I hope it wasn't so hard. Please take it easy and don't panic, you scare me with your flashy thoughts not with your compulsion
We know you already don't feel shunned, nothing can change our thoughts about you, no matter about your "secrets". You are same Lee as ever to me
Don't panic, relax and breath...
I don't have such fetish but my compulsion has been feed whit pictures/movies of terrible violent and dangerous male to male sex. It is hard for me to admit it but it is the true. I can't find proper words even to describe it here, because it is so graphic and inappropriate.
But that is me, there is specific reason why I've become like that and I'm brave enough to look my self in mirror, to be honest and to accept it. Just needed to tell you that we all have some dark side and that you certainly are not freak...
So you are aroused by underwear, it is not big deal. You know what, if you go to Japan you cwould be feeling very puritanical there comparing yourself with some "regular" folks there and their fetishism. There is huge subculture connected with it. No offense to Japan, I adore their culture...
I've found recently actually that staying in reality with our thoughts at time of compulsion is main way to fight it. That is very true for myself and very helpful. I'm working hard on it, the moment I'm feeling that something is approaching me I'm trying to be grounded and not to escape into world of my fantasies - and it is working.
I'm glad that you revealed yourself, believe in yourself and don't be scared of any side of you.
I wish I'm closer and able to give you some hug, so you please do it in my name: hug and give yourself some respect for being brave!