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#390957 - 03/26/12 11:51 PM *
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 04:50 PM)

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#390969 - 03/27/12 02:40 AM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
1islandboy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/23/08
Posts: 875
Loc: washington
Hello ST80'S Boy,

Uhh...I too struggled with the C.S.A.~Incest thing...(outside of sexual identity)...and the sexual orientation that you speak of))...

Actually, it took me a long time to even define it...(co-existant).

I am sure the mother issue just complicates an already confusing subject...

Yeah, I drank for oblivion and smoked like a chimney...but for me...in the end...those are just coping mechanisms...(there are no real answers there).

After a lengthy process of writing it all down...(my journal is here)...

Part of my journey...(I think it relates)...is I wrote a post called "Same Sex Sexual Surrogate" and then I hid it "Behind the Wall" (In the "Members Only" section).

Your right, sometimes it does feel worse before it gets better...But I am here to say that...the inward journey was the best trip I have ever taken...

So yes, the road is rough...but I have found gifts along the way...

Congratulations in taking your first steps in "Finally Trying to Heal".

"The Best Revenge is Living a Good Life" (and you deserve "absolutely every part" of that).


What I Am (Edie Brickell and New Bohemians)

island
_________________________
Rise above the storm and you will find the sunshine ~ M.F. Fernandez

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#390977 - 03/27/12 03:37 AM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: 1islandboy]
peroperic2009 Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3772
Loc: South-East Europe
Welcome again SmalltownBoy smile!
It is great thing that you've came at MS, I'm sorry to hear that you were abused by some family members. I hope that you have found some strength left to fight those demons from past. I'm always very sad when I hear about some terrible experience like you've had, it left me without proper words... At least you would hear some similar stories here and find some support. Please share as much as possible with us and feel completely at home. Take it easy and explore this site, there are many good things left to us, be brave and use it.
Heal Well!
Pero
_________________________
My story

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#391050 - 03/27/12 06:23 PM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: peroperic2009]
Jim1104 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 410
Loc: Louisiana, USA
Welcome.
_________________________
Jim
Male/USA

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#391103 - 03/28/12 12:55 AM * [Re: 1islandboy]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 04:50 PM)

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#391108 - 03/28/12 01:09 AM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3953
Loc: settling in the USA again
It makes ABSOLUTE sense, Smalltown80sBoy!

one of my first posts was titled "Worse before better?" and i vividly remember the feelings and confusion that drove me here.

I am sorry to confirm that - yes - it often gets worse at first, BUT also glad to report that - YES - it does get better as you go along (though not without some ups and downs - and then more ups!)

I find this site and especially the forums to be my biggest help day-to-day. In fact i'd call it my preferred form of "self-medication" and can say that it *nearly* replaces all other addictions and compulsions.

Yes - membership in this exclusive "club" is a painful yet healing gift.
Lee


Edited by traveler (03/28/12 01:10 AM)
Edit Reason: sp
_________________________
"the scariest thing about abuse of any shape or form, is, in my opinion, not the abuse itself, but that if it continues it can begin to feel commonplace and eventually acceptable."
- Alan Cumming, "Not My Father's Son"

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#391123 - 03/28/12 01:55 AM * [Re: traveler]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
*


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (04/28/13 04:52 PM)

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#391138 - 03/28/12 04:17 AM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
peroperic2009 Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3772
Loc: South-East Europe
Great Smalltown80sBoy,
just keep posting/reading if it makes you happy!
Your last comment here is so lifting that you could easily post it under progress forum smile!
Keep moving in that direction!
Pero

_________________________
My story

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#391183 - 03/28/12 12:56 PM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: peroperic2009]
traillius Offline


Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 260
I hope healing comes more. Seems healing comes in waves. I am trying to ride another one. I've been 'talking' to the boy I once was, and the teenager that followed that boy, reassuring them both, metaphorically at least, that I understand and haven't forgotten them, even if no one else seems to have cared at the time. Interestingly enough, to the OP, my perps were also an uncle and a brother, respectively to the times my abuse occured.


Edited by traillius (03/28/12 12:58 PM)

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#391236 - 03/28/12 08:33 PM Re: Finally Trying to Heal - TRIGGER WARNING (REPOST) [Re: Smalltown80sBoy]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Welcome, regardless of where our sexuality lands, it seems we all have a lot of similar behaviors and fears.

This is a great place to reflect on those and hear some loving words from people who have experienced the same and exhibit a desire to see all of us heal.
_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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