Hey Mark, I have to give you at least some virtual hug when I'm to far from reach for real one:
Please don't go down and stay positive. I'm sorry that you have so much to bear at your back, don't make things even harder. Give some love to yourself, you deserve best from life, and you can offer many things to all of us here.
Be creative, you are very artistic guy and let all bad feelings go out. And I want to hear that you have done some music playing with that great equipment that you have at your home, it is shame that dust covered all around