I have made a decision for myself that I must do once and for all while I am confronting everyone else in my life I am going to finally confront my abuser face to face tommorrow and finally let my abuser know what has happened in my life since talking to my abuser last which was over 10 years ago and this decision was not made in haste rather in healing from a lot of sh*t that has happened in my life due to this SON OF A B*TCH.My abuser was someone that I trusted and loved and as a part of my healing this face to face confrontation must happen.
I will no longer allow my abuser to F*CK up everything else in my life nor will I allow myself to have to live in fear of this sob nor will I allow this person to dominate everything in my life after the fact which has been happening in many dreams and flashbacks that I have had over many years and this all now is at the head and path in the road where I must pass judgement upon this person and I won't hold back either I am going head to head on this one and will let this person know what got screwed up in my life thanks to this sob and I will also let this person know where my life is now and will prove to this person that this person has not made me what I was told in my youth a worthless piece of shit that no one will want.
I think overall even despite what I am going through at this present time diminishes and crushes what this person said to me and I will not allow myself to even feel or think of what therapists have told me that once abused you yourself will probably turn abuser which as we all know is so false and so overstated and I personally think therapists need a day in the life of a surviver.I have had too many therapists try to tell me things that at this present time in my life ring so damn untrue.
To my abuser you had better be ready for the third fourth and fifth degree when we talk as I am going to lay everything on you not on me as the abuse was not my fault.There have been many instances where I thought that because I was seeking my abusers approval as this person is a family member and at times I thought maybe I brought the abuse on myself but as I was able to focus on this over the last 48 hours I will not allow what has happened in my past destroy me being able to be a father as this as well is what has been on my mind over the last several years and it finally has now come to a head and I MUST PUT A NAIL IN THIS COFFIN WITH A JACKHAMMER.I have the tools in me and I am going forward with this burial once and for all and I don't care what my abuser wants to tell me and thinks. this is for me to live on without the stigmatism placed upon myself for the rest of my life as someone has told me and many other people have told me they think I would be a great father.
It is now time to go on and prove to myself and those that have great confidence in me that I can and will be a great father and I will constantly be on guard as a father and I will NOT ALLOW MY CHILD TO BE ABUSED NOR NEGLECTED.Man the last 48 hours have been very invigorating and very enlightening for myself just to focus on everything that has been on my mind for many years that I have been unable to do anything about up until today and tommorrow.
After this confrontation I am going to walk out of this persons life forever. I don't need them and this person sure as hell does not need me however this is all part of the healing process for me and the next 24 hours will be very crucial for me to lighten some bags that have drowned me for 10 years.I know what this person is and he knows what he is and that is a proven fact of him being a SEXUAL OFFENDER IN FLORIDA.I will not allow anyone else to be harmed by this person and I will do what ever it takes to make sure no one else gets abused by this bastard.
I dedicate this confrontation to the memory of my brother Mark N. who never had the chance to confront the person who abused us.Little brother this one is for you as well,live in peace now little brother as big brother is taking control of damage control.
Wish Me Luck,
Eye of tiger stares down perp,tiger teeth rips perp to shreds
to be abused kills the soul
to survive is to live the ultimate punishment
Knocking on hells door!!
To be silenced is an American amendment right violation,free speech