Newest Members
TopHat, Restore, Tracy, Winston, Jimmy'sDoneLots
13166 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
blueelectron9 (50), Grunty1967b (2016), highflight (44), jocks44 (56), kitm1 (49), Porrick (46)
Who's Online
8 registered (robwk1988, Rich1967, healinglove, 4 invisible), 37 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,166 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,265 Topics
475,131 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#389636 - 03/17/12 11:19 PM want
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3956
Loc: settling in the USA again
I donít want to have to be the strong one
But I also donít want to be dependent;
I donít want to pretend that everythingís all right
But what else can I do?
This is one of those days that I feel like nothing;
I just want to curl into a ball and cry
But I canít.

So Iíll have another grey day:
Iíll go through the motions,
Being quiet and looking distant
And if someone asks whatís wrong
I will say nothing
Because to truly answer would take years.

Iíll fake it.
Not moving forward,
Unable to go back,
Stuck in the now Ė
Not a pretty place to be...
Donít look at me,
Donít ask me questions,
Donít make me explain.
Can I please just stop now?
I donít want to go there anymore.
How do you turn it off,
Make it go away, make it end?
The thinking, the memories, analyzing, feelingÖ
Drained, used up, worn down and out,
so tiredÖ
Just want all of this to stop
Just want ďto beĒ and nothing more.

And yet people tiptoe around me,
Thinking that I only need some space
When what I really need is so much more:
To be loved
To be embraced
To be accepted
To be understood
To be healed.

lee



Edited by traveler (03/18/12 04:38 AM)
Edit Reason: tweaking
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

Top
#390766 - 03/26/12 04:17 AM Re: want [Re: traveler]
mike13 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 419
Loc: California USA
I too am looking for the on an off switch. I hate to say this but maybe we need to learn to sleep with the dang light on. Hang in there Lee you are a great person. Please always remember that Your brother Mike


Top
#390888 - 03/26/12 07:46 PM Re: want [Re: mike13]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3956
Loc: settling in the USA again
thanks
_________________________
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"

Top
#441017 - 07/16/13 04:59 AM Re: want [Re: traveler]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 6290
Loc: 𝒪 𝒦anada
ouch!
this one hurts.
brings back bad memories of my distant and recent past.

very grey days i have had like the one you describe so well.
hope your life has many brightly coloured days to come.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top

Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.