I donít want to have to be the strong one
But I also donít want to be dependent;
I donít want to pretend that everythingís all right
But what else can I do?
This is one of those days that I feel like nothing;
I just want to curl into a ball and cry
But I canít.
So Iíll have another grey day:
Iíll go through the motions,
Being quiet and looking distant
And if someone asks whatís wrong
I will say nothing
Because to truly answer would take years.
Iíll fake it.
Not moving forward,
Unable to go back,
Stuck in the now Ė
Not a pretty place to be...
Donít look at me,
Donít ask me questions,
Donít make me explain.
Can I please just stop now?
I donít want to go there anymore.
How do you turn it off,
Make it go away, make it end?
The thinking, the memories, analyzing, feelingÖ
Drained, used up, worn down and out,
Just want all of this to stop
Just want ďto beĒ and nothing more.
And yet people tiptoe around me,
Thinking that I only need some space
When what I really need is so much more:
To be loved
To be embraced
To be accepted
To be understood
To be healed.
Edited by traveler (03/18/12 04:38 AM)
Edit Reason: tweaking
"My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind, but as I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed." Brennan Manning, "All is Grace - A Ragamuffin Memoir"