I enter this topic here as this issue has presented itself as a sexual identity issue for me and others.
I am a member in a group of men who are sexual assault survivors. This group is a local in-person group. A member and I, have gotten to know each other outside of the group.
He asked me a few months ago, what I thought about sexual abuse and being gay. I replied "some men (and women) are gay and have NOT been abused and some men are gay and have been abused".
This issue has become clearer for ME. He is married. I am single. I was once married and have lived as a gay man. I have spent some time with him and his wife. NONE of the spending time with each other has been inappropriate.
Tonight he stated to me - that he wanted our friendship to go further. He wants more than a friendship with me. Yikes!, is what I thought at first. Inside, I was confused and said nothing for a couple of hours.
And then BAM, I got some clarity - I am going to have to disappoint him.
How many times, did I "act" to keep others happy so as NOT to disappoint them. I did NOT want to disappoint anyone as a child and I as an adult did NOT want to disappoint anyone especially the men.
To be honest with him I had to disappointment him.
He is freaking out. He is sending me emails asking if I am angry with him. This "stuff" is so messy.
Edited by Avery46 (03/07/12 10:56 PM)