..Is this even possible - to hold it back by willing to not let go? And would this fear of losing control during an ejaculation have anything to do with later intimacy problems? Has anyone else ever heard of or experienced something like this?
three issues. yes it is possible to hold back, yes its possible to let go and yes its possible to let our dreams be our only sexual outlet. (i added that last bit.)
does it have anything to do with intimacy later in life? not sure. does it matter? if we never experience intimacy later in life, i think it won't matter. if that opportunity arises, well, why wouldn't it?
can someone actually pinpoint their first orgasm? i mean, you are asking that question as a mature adult who thinks in physical memory, black/white terms.... wasn't that whole evolution working up to the first male orgasm more or less a process? lots of wet dreams (whether we remembered or not) and rubbing alone, touching alone before anything actually happened?
i shy away from speculation.... i find it more palatable to accept what actually turns us on "today" in the here and now.