How do I keep an eye on him regarding his curiosity in teen girls? I don't want to snoop on him but how can I be sure he is telling me the truth? Should I be worried? Am I under/over-reacting?
Hi and welcome, Val.
You are most certainly NOT over-reacting! Where there's smoke there's fire. You have multiple sites of smoldering (depression, cutting, disclosure of some type of untreated abuse, an interest in female children, etc.). Do NOT take your eyes off of the smoldering, lest you turn around to find your life being consumed by out-of-control flames.
If you read any of the stories posted by partners of survivors, the majority of us had no idea our husbands had been the victims of abuse. It was only after having our lives destroyed by their acting out (infidelities, porn-addiction, use of prostitutes, anonymous sex, alcohol/drug, gambling addiction, inability to keep a job, etc.) that the secrets they buried so deeply began to seep to the surface.
The secret of their abuse is so inordinately shameful to them, they are more comfortable revealing their vile infidelities than they are in revealing they were horribly abused as boys! So, that your BF was more able to discuss the files you found than he is the abuse he's alluding to, doesn't surprise me at all.
You have been given a gift. You have the gift of early on finding this information. Don't ignore it and don't let him take the focus off of the REAL issue: his abuse.
Please do what is reasonable in having him (and you) get therapy with a counselor trained in male CSA. Don't take your eyes off of the ball. If he won't begin the hard work of discovering how his abuse damaged him in childhood, which has dramatically affected his adulthood, then you need to be extremely cautious.
Please read many posts here. Please invite your BF to do the same.
P.S. You can't be sure he is telling you the truth. But you can be POSITIVE he is not. Keep digging!