Newest Members
Joe W, Aubrey, John Lindquist, TopHat, Restore
13169 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
No Birthdays
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 39 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,169 Registered Members
75 Forums
68,266 Topics
475,146 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#387608 - 02/28/12 09:40 AM Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
I ran across this last year while reading a book/study on healing from trauma.

It is series of de>
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

Top
#387611 - 02/28/12 10:13 AM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Mountainous Buck]
peroperic2009 Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3783
Loc: South-East Europe
Super stuff Buck wink!
My patterns of unhealthy sexuality go like this:
I've recently felt secretive and shameful, tried to reenact childhood abuse (not exactly but pattern is same), was self destructive and had need for double life.

Healthy sexuality is something that I'm just starting to discover....

Pero

_________________________
My story

Top
#387615 - 02/28/12 10:37 AM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: peroperic2009]
Casmir213 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 851
Loc: Northeast, USA
MB,

Secretive and shameful, double life....that's definitely how I've lived with my own sexuality throughout my life.

Casmir

_________________________
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

Top
#387690 - 02/28/12 09:00 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Avery46 Offline


Registered: 09/23/10
Posts: 1243
Loc: USA
Mountainous Buck,

Thanks for posting this. I can say my sexuality today is neutral. I am not having either healthy nor I am having unhealthy sexuality. I answer this post thinking sexuality is between two loving partners. I am single.

I have alot to learn about healthy sexuality. I am NOT having anymore unhealthy sexuality.

Avery

_________________________
aka DJsport

Top
#387692 - 02/28/12 09:07 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Avery46]
Letourski Offline


Registered: 03/15/08
Posts: 304
Loc: Canada
I am not even sure where to begin untangling the two. Just seems so far away, unreachable.

_________________________
I am the warrior.

Top
#387693 - 02/28/12 09:20 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Avery46]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1627
Loc: Minnesota
I think you CAN have healthy sexuality with yourself. IMHO.

I had to laugh when I noticed my initials (MB) are an abbreviation for self love! smile

_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

�It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

Top
#387700 - 02/28/12 10:39 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Chase Eric Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2355
***Triggers ... about Trigger???***

I remember years ago seeing a veterinarian castrate a horse right in the pasture and feeling an unexpected wave of envy for the horse. I expressed this revelation to the owner, telling her I suspected that her horse's life was about to get a whole lot less complicated.

But then, I also told her that if she planted the testes deep in the ground and watered it every day, she'd grow another horse.

It is obvious to me after reading Buck's list that I have no healthy sex life - certainly not as healthy and simple as that long-since recovered no-balled horse. But it's a small comfort to me that the consistency of my character is proven in my equally sick humor. So at least I have my integrity.

_________________________

..


Top
#387701 - 02/28/12 10:42 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Mountainous Buck]
phoenix321 Offline


Registered: 09/26/11
Posts: 912
Loc: USA, FL
Sex IS intimacy.
They say it ain't
and is something else.
Whatever that is.
No, sex is intimacy.
That's what I learned
from my childhood rape.

No offense but I giggled at the "healthy sexuality" list. Sense of self, being an adult, safety and security, love, playful? Yeah, right, all us CSA peeps/adult rape victims/sex workers know that's utter bullshit. I bet a bunch divorced people would say, shares, building relationships? You should me might cheating, abusive husband/wife. Oh, closeless to god? Yeah, he really fucked that one up, didn't he? Our innocence was stolen a long, long time ago. I felt like a hooker that was forced. The rate of PTSD among sex workers (call girls, gigolos, prostitutes) is 99% I've read. 60% of porn stars (male or female) get PTSD. What sheltered life did the asshole who wrote this shit have? If god knew all this, he shoud've come up with a better idea; his sucks. All that is exactly what I felt (and many others I met) when I uncovered the horror of my child rape. No offense to MB.

Rape is about power not sex. Just because it's child rape doesn't make it any less true.

_________________________
Phoenix

A guy opens the front door and sees a snail on his doorstep. He picks up the snail and throws it across the street in a neighbor's yard. A year later, the guy opens the front door and the same snail is on his doorstep. The snail says, "What the f*ck was that about?"

Top
#387704 - 02/28/12 11:07 PM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: phoenix321]
Chase Eric Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2355
Originally Posted By: Phoenix
Rape is about power not sex.

I was secretly victimized by a serial molester at 12 all the way through my teens and forcibly raped by a violent sociopath at 20 in a locked building. And I never understood this line. Replace "not" with "and" and it starts to make sense to me. Put sex in front of power and it makes even more sense.

_________________________

..


Top
#387710 - 02/29/12 01:07 AM Re: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Sexuality [Re: Mountainous Buck]
Forexpreneur Offline


Registered: 02/08/12
Posts: 141
Loc: Uranus (hell no not yours. lol...
LMAO Buck. Your post for some reason really made my day. Thanks, I needed a good hearty laugh. smile


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.