Thanks for this, Robbie! It is an eye-opening article.
A while back, in discussing with my husband his acting out, which was so flippin' artistic I didn't have a clue, he told me that he had the ability to read people. He said it was a little scary to him because the instant he'd meet a woman, he'd know if he could "work her", or not. I thought that was a helluva bold thing to say, and blew it off as him becoming a tad delusional due to ego overdose. However, I GET it now!
This article perfectly explained "hypersensitivity", a trait the abused child developed out of necessity to constantly read his environment. That section specifically included the survivor's uncanny ability to read people! Bingo! I get it, and apologize to my beloved for thinking he had visions of grandiousity!
I also understand that this ability to read others and a situation in a nanosecond (like a computer!) was what enables the survivor to be such a skilled deceiver, manipulator, and liar. This means I'm NOT a complete bonehead for not suspecting infidelity. This means I'm NOT an total airhead for not realizing he was drunk right under my nose. I was no match for the hypersensitivity that allowed him to pull off the deceit!
I think the only way we wives will ever really know if our survivors are being truthful with us is to "wait and see". Forget the words; what are the actions saying? Forget the action; what consistant changes in his personality and in his coping skills are apparent?
Thanks for this, Rob!