one thing i do support and advocate is full disclosure and brutal honesty.
expose the facts, get as close to the truth as possible, fix the mistakes, repair the damage, admit the errors, correct the course, kill the secrecy, practice transparency!
do this every day, adopt the habit, make it ritual, it becomes second nature.
the downside is increased vulnerability to criticism and exposure to negative consequences, so extra emotional protection is required.
before the defence strategy of denial can be abandoned safely, one must learn to be keenly self aware of one's own strengths as well as faults, be willing to take some responsibility, and be ready to accept that improvement is necessary for survival.
I really need to learn to distinguish between thoughts and actions.
Ultimately, regardless of what I want to hear or read, the fact is the discussion about the real meaning of pedophilia, etc. has been good.
regardless of whether or not someone is a pedophile, the fact of the matter is: that these sorts of thoughts and urges should not be treated like leprosy or the plague. i wish people would get clear on the meaning between a thought & urge, and an action, versus all of that and its moral relation to a person's character.
if it's anyone who wants to abuse or hurt anyone else - those thoughts need to be put out in the open nonjudgmentally.
ABUSE THRIVES IN SILENCE
link>> CONSPIRACY of SILENCE stand up and speak out for the silent survivors.
stop the cycle of violence.
end the code of silence. http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=432874#Post432874
this is a very disturbing discussion, but there is much here to discover.
i have been reading the various posts here, and i think the idea of "intrusive thoughts" or "compulsions" or "unhealthy obsessions" or "urges" to cause harm or commit crimes and sins is not limited to sex or SA survivors.
the concept and allure of "forbidden fruit" or "taboo" and the thrill of rebellion and the illusion of power are ancient human problems.
the thoughts and ideas presented here could just as well apply to almost any other destructive and addictive behaviour patterns in anyone.
"There is a hideous pleasure which is produced by intense and forbidden impressions and fatal sights."
~ Gilles de Rais
"The charm of horror tempts only the strong."
~ Charles Baudelaire
"At the root of every taboo, there must be desire."
~ Sigmund Freud
"The depravity of man is at once the most empirically verifiable reality
but at the same time the most intellectually resisted fact."
~ Malcolm Muggeridge
"The proof of spiritual maturity
is not how 'pure' you are but awareness of your impurity."
~ Philip Yancey
"We always resist prohibitions, and yearn for what is denied us."
~ Baruch Spinoza
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
~ Mae West
"Man cannot live without joy; therefore when he is deprived of true spiritual joys
it is necessary that he become addicted to carnal pleasures."
~ Thomas Aquinas
"Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac."
~ Henry Kissinger