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#177552 - 09/01/07 05:34 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: theatrekid]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
My willingness to give a shit about me, my future, my relationships (or lack of), WHATEVER.

Instead of having drive, conviction, and direction in my life as I grew up, I merely stumbled along, went with the motions, and didn't do very well.

#178317 - 09/05/07 04:55 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. Part 3 [Re: Muldoon]
copenbay Offline

Registered: 09/03/07
Posts: 127

Yes, freedom, innocence, worth, self-confidence, dignity, even humanity were stolen from us. Through abuse, I decided I was always 'less than' and couldn't measure up. I felt like I had to apologize for even walking the same planet with other people. I came to expect poor treatment from everyone around me, to distrust what people said, to watch my back, to wonder when the next bad thing would happen, to be leery of any success, to avoid even eye contact lest someone see how pitiful I was.
Thank God, many of these things aren't nearly as true today. But innocence won't be regained, childhood can't really be relived, and it may be a while before I don't feel dirty, or like 'damaged goods'. Choice was taken away long ago. For me, this translates to being uncertain whether any dream is worth pursuing (or even possible).
I know that God, and my friends have a much better view of me than those things. Those who love me always seem to think more highly of me than I do (okay if it keeps me humble, not okay if it's only about shame and loathing). Anyway, that's all I have for now.


#310047 - 11/12/09 12:08 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. Part 3 [Re: copenbay]
justplainme Offline

Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 472
im filled with profound compassion for all of us, even though we were stolen and cheated doesnt mean we cant live what we have left of life to its fullest extent. "live well" thats the best revenge,.


"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

#310049 - 11/12/09 12:51 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: Hauser]
Casmir213 Offline

Registered: 05/14/09
Posts: 851
Loc: Northeast, USA
What was stolen from me?

a normal sex life.

a normal life.

What was given to me?



Edited by Casmir213 (11/12/09 12:57 AM)
I see recovery as a lifelong journey rather than a final destination, a journey, though, which can have many successes along the way.

WoR Alumnus - Hope Springs, OH, October 2009

My avatar is the farmhouse at the Hope Spring, OH WoR. It's a nice place.

#310052 - 11/12/09 12:55 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: Casmir213]
ericc Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 1986
I can relate to this and certainly I have lost things because of what happened (heck, I know I lost a lot). But I'll never know the alternative of what could have been so I try my best to make the best of what I have to work with. Sure, I'll have days where I struggle but to the best that I am able I will try for something better. I just don't know what else to do about it.


BTW, what did I lose? A healthy sense of sexuality, the ability to chase my dreams, possibility of a family among other things. So yeah, I lost some stuff but I will work to make the best of what I can and it is open as to where that might all lead. I guess the point is that I am not giving up even if there are days when it feels helpless which I certainly have.

#310084 - 11/12/09 04:04 AM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: ericc]
Charlie24 Offline

Registered: 09/28/08
Posts: 562
This is such a great topic.

All the things listed above I checked every box.

Yeah what was stolen from me.

My self worth, my happiness with life, my good nature and positive spirit, my happiness with the world, my friends I had.

My friends were stolen and then I was tossed out like a used kleenex to fend for myself.

Now I'm lost, no compass, not passion, no drive, nothing, it's all gone that's "that guy"

Now I can't trust myself anymore, I can't believe in myself any more, I'm just so frustrated by it all.

Why do bad things happen to good people?


#310292 - 11/13/09 07:21 PM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: Charlie24]
DannyT Offline

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 645
This is interesting to me, too.

A few years ago, I would have related to it totally. Now for some reason I don't feel like things were stolen from me.

The way I see it now is that something happened to me. Then in reaction to that something I started acting and thinking about certain things in particular ways. The abuse was part of that process and I as thinker and actor was part of it.

I see my father as responsible for the events and their immediate aftermath. but I was the one who didn't make the moves for the missed relationships, I was the one who did this or that other thing (whatever it might be).

Weird how thoughts can change over time.


#310311 - 11/13/09 10:57 PM Re: That Which was Stolen from Us. [Re: Muldoon]
Sans Logos Offline

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5796
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Originally Posted By: n52nimbus
What I've gained is perspective.

Without the trauma and abuse, I'm not sure my priorities would have been the same.

ah, gotta love the words of our awol brother. he's busy making lemonade.....


Ron Schulz, MSPC, NCC

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